Sometimes the best thing I can do for my family is to have some time away from them.
I think about this poem (link to Austin Kleon’s site) a lot. About not being able to have a social life, a passionate love life (I substitute family here) and work. You can have only two.
For me work and family are the big things in my life. They take up most/all of my time. I would and try to do anything for my wife and children.
I’m also aware that having a rare evening off is good for my mental health even if it feels like I’m letting them down by not being there for them.