Day 19

One of the things [Uncle Alex] found objectionable about human beings was that they so rarely noticed it when they were happy. He himself did his best to acknowledge it when times were sweet. We could be drinking lemonade in the shade of an apple tree in the summertime, and Uncle Alex would interrupt the conversation to say, “If this isn’t nice, what is?” So I hope that you will do the same for the rest of your lives. When things are going sweetly and peacefully, please pause a moment, and then say out loud, “If this isn’t nice, what is?”

I think about this a lot. Though not as much as I should.

How much do we do this? Think about, how, what we are experencing is, nice…

Not as much as we should.

Coffee and noodles for brunch

Dinner out

Day 17

烧烤！So good!

Day 16

The cleaner always sorts the papers on my desk and honestly it’s the best.

Day 15

Meet the World’s First Carbon-Neutral Soccer Club

Just up the road from where Mum grew up.

Day 13

Sunday wasn’t great
Caught up inside my own head
Time to breathe and smile

How much do you think about this country’s obesity crisis? I used to, but now I think more about the mental health crisis. I used to focus on physical transformation – leanness, body shape. But during the pandemic I realised that it’s with mental health that people need help and motivation. Without a healthy mindset and the energy you get from exercise, life feels a lot harder. If you look at exercise from a mental health perspective, the body will follow.

Joe Wicks: The Guardian

Day 12

Elise just gave me a thumbs up and then winked at me because she did some great eating. Which was weird.

Yumo is getting better! Not bad for 3 years old.

Working hard!

Morning jigsaws.

In other news one of my 7 year old students made me realise my chess skills are not really what I remembered them to be!

Doing jigsaws with Elise made me realise that being patient with students/kids who are learning is just emotionally taxing. Especially when it a your day job too.

Day 10 is sponsored by Ted Lasso and the song Risk It All by Ella Henderson.

Does anyone use Bitwarden?

I currently use Lastpass but undecided about paying or switching to something.

It’s 5:45am and I’m having a coffee and a little cry watching Ted Lasso.

Dealing with money stuff and other stuff I find stressful is difficult enough and more so when the only time I can do it is between 9 and 10pm at night when I really don’t want to.

Day 10

Beer and Splendor

Chilli cucumber!

Day 9 Yumo was looking over the back of the sofa, like a meerkat. Tigger and his blanket held tightly. Daddy? Yes Yumo? He makes a kissing noise with his mouth. Good morning Yumo

❤️

Day 8

The conversations I have with my kids. Where 东西 is Chinese for thing.

Him: 东西
Me: pardon? What do you want?
Him: 东西
Me: 东西吗?
Him: yes
Me: 你要什么东西?
Him: I don’t know东西

Good chat

Front squats 7x1

Day 7

Believe.

Didn’t think I had the energy but managed my first sub 20minute 5k row today!

Yumo jumps in too!

Volleyball!

Love that this coffee shop is so close to wear we live. ☕️

Day 5

Would often read Wirecutter for advice about what to buy, so sad to see it go behind the NYTs paywall.

凉面 is a Szechuan snack that’s cold noodles mixed with chilli and a few other things. So delicious.

Still no Dune release date in China.

Nooooooo

Last year I taught Year 1 (kindergarten) and had been doing so for 5 years. This year I’m in Year 3 (grade 2).

I caught myself noticing how different I act because of the differences in age. Only two year but a world apart.

Happy with that. Pleased that I was able to keep moving more. Getting older, getting fitter!

Ted Lasso day!! #believe

Day 3 at the dining table

A beautiful life…

Seven Lions - Returning to you.

Had this on repeat recently. ❤️

#TranceThursday

music.apple.com

Morning fights

Yumo likes to grab the tokens but it’s still nice to play. Good for Elise’s maths too!

I liked the colours of the fallen seeds.

Day One of Thirty

An aspirational list.

Back to School/Work: The Manifesto, 22 - Nicholas Bate

90 seconds faster than March!

Rediscovered Chrvches yesterday and that’s what been sent on repeat. A big fan of their vocalist and sound.

My sister and I are doing a haiku a day for September which I am absolutely sticking to this time… Probably.

Sundays amazing
Sunday is the worst, as well
Kids they will do that

The worst part about having kids is having to do all the things you want them to do.

Put down your device. Read a book. Go to bed. Say sorry. Be kind. Eat your vegetables. Be brave!

Today’s workout was fun and just what the Dr ordered. Just consistent work.

3 rounds

100m farmers carry 2x22.5kg dumbbell
55 skips
35 sit ups
25 goblet squats
15 calories Assault Bike

25:10

Monday is my busiest day by far with the added bonus of trying to be ready and trying to relax a little on Sunday.

How To Make Reading A Part Of Your Child’s Life – Daily Dad

The American cosmologist Carl Sagan once said that “one of the greatest gifts adults can give—to their offspring and to their society—is to read to children.”

So nice when they get on!

Foundation ⏤ Official Trailer | Apple TV+ Will be interesting to see what this is like. I haven’t read the books though.

Hanging about!

Photobombing Lyra’s selfie.

But if you’re at work, there’s not a lot of evidence that more stress is the best way to have less stress.

I said yesterday that, I feel stressed but I don’t know about what. There was nothing I could think of, at least. But I still felt that weight.

First full week back at work done. Of course, I don’t feel like I was good enough or doing enough and that I should be better and everything. It can’t be that, I always feel like that.

Maybe it was just that the weeks are constant in the way teaching small children is. That, there’s always something I could be doing. Planning, resourcing, contacting parents, displays, marking, sticking.

Yeah, maybe it was that!

Solving for stress | Seth’s Blog

This is the first photo I posted to Flickr on September 28th 2004. 17 years ago. 17. Actually, it’s a scan of a photo since it was before I even had a digital camera.

Scrolling through my photos is potent and such an incredible snapshot of a period of my life. That I can’t bring myself to delete my account. Even though, I don’t upload photos there and I rarely use it. Hmmmm

Hey Siri play The Black Album by Metallica
Sorry, I don’t know that album
Hey Siri play Metallica by Metallica
Sorry, I don’t know that album
Hey Siri play Unforgiven by Metallica
Sorry I don’t know I’m forgiven by Metallica
Hey Siri play Unforgiven by Metallica
Now playing The Unforgiven by Metallica
Hey Siri what album I this from?
This is the self-titled album Metallica by Metallica
Hey Siri play Unforgiven by he self-titled album Metallica by Metallica
Sorry, I don’t know that album

Things I’ve eaten recently.

The first one was amazing. The second is a regular thing we have. You pick the meat and veg you want and then boil it in a delicious broth.

Ministers accused of failing to secure rights of Britons with foreign spouses in EU

This should absolutely not be surprising to anyone.

Pre-Brexit, it would have been easier for me, a Brit, to go and live in the EU with my non-EU wife then moving back to the UK.

Today I’m grateful that none of the micro.blog people seem to follow professional wrestling. So, I can open safely while avoiding the rest of the internet for fear of spoilers!

Climbing, though technically I always did bouldering was one of my favourite things to do in the UK.

I liked that you could go and do it on your own. Just kind of hang out, work through some problems, unwind a little. On the occasions I did go with others, I like the social aspect of it that isn’t the same in climbing. It’s much easier for everyone to try and complete the same route, for example.

Anyway. Lyra and I went today to a place and it reminded me how much I enjoyed it!

(1) Worrying about what other people might think (2) The distraction of trivia and melodrama (3) The desire for perfection (4) Simply not being bold enough (5) Not having pen nor paper at all times (6) Believing things should be fair (7) Not starting. 

The Seven Greatest Barriers to your Best Work

Feeling this today, first week back at school in a new year level.

We’ve talked about being present before, but it’s worth repeating: The key to great parenting is presence. Being where you are, while you’re there.

Daily Day

I love my job, right
But in it, there’s elements
That stop me sleeping

Is that just me?

Day 5 - Her riding is so much better! Today she made her next step and fell off. We’ve stopped today but hopeful she’ll be willing to get back on again later.

Day 5

We’re all watching Ted Lasso right? Surely not a coincidence?!

New board!

Also, definitely noticed that I should have eaten something before exercising.

Day 2 with mum. Who needs helmets?!

Summer holiday workouts done. Back to school tomorrow. Hoping to maintain the consistency…

Day 1 of learning to ride a bike went pretty well! Mostly me that was the nervous one

Writing

Apparently yesterday was two years to the day that we arrived back in China after visiting the UK.

So, that means we haven’t left China in over two years！

An Italian Tourist Walks into an Olive Garden… — Trip Out

Reminds me of when my Chinese wife had a Chinese takeaway in the UK.

“This is not Chinese food.”

Asked Siri to play some music to go with morning coffee. So we’re listening to Linkin Park, System of a Down and Black Sabbath. Thanks Siri!

New passport…

Double rainbow!

The UK government website says 11 weeks for a passport renewal from China…

Except, we got the email to say it has arrived 19 days after we dropped off the form.

Fair play.

Chinese food.

There is no way Jamie Tartt would say, ‘blocks’ when refering to distance. There was another one but I’ve forgotten. That aside, the second episode was really good.

She’s taken them out.

“I want my teachers to do it.”

Day 2 daddy hair care. All on my own!

Day 1 Daddy Haircare: Lyra did it today as I couldn’t. Onwards!

I want more apps with a finite scroll, which respect, rather than seek to consume, my time and attention.

Daring Fireball: Brief Grief

Lunch with Lyra

Ignorance and the Curious Idiot

My Ted Lasso stickers arrived!

HITT in front of the air con because it’s hot.

FYI New Ted Lasso today!

Since UK passport applications from abroad are now all sent to the UK for processing. I’m continuing to nervously await news about E’s passport renewal. Obviously the first sign was that they charged me. No news is good news…

Phew.

Dune passes Chinese censors.

I know I’ve been watching too much Justified because I want to wear a cowboy hat, eat fried chicken and bbq and drink bourbon. I’m resisting the guns bit.

Brunch with a beer.

Despite everything at least the Olympics is in a very close time zone to me!

I like this responseto the writing prompt:

When the robots revolted, a sizable chunk of the human population outright sided with them. Not out of cowardice, but on account of genuinely agreeing with the stand the machines were taking.

I’m at this stage where I’m reading it a chapter at a time and only in a situation I can properly focus. I can’t bring myself to read it any faster. I don’t want it to end! And so much is happening in the story.

I saw a thread on Reddit recently about whether people take time to digest books after reading them and I’ve been thinking a about that a lot. Do I? Should I? It makes me think as well about how I’m grateful for the tv shows I can’t binge.

I find applying for my passports for the kids incredibly stressful.

Just applied for a renewal for my daughter. I checked and double checked* and hope everything we’ve done is enough.

*Except the location of the office. Apparently it’s not where it was.

At the top tier of just about any sort of endeavor, you’ll find that the performers have coaches.

Pianists, orators and athletes all have coaches. In fact, it would be weird if we heard of someone on stage or on the field who didn’t have one.

And yet, in the world of business, they’re seen as the exception.

Part of the reason is that work feels like an extension of something we’ve been doing our whole lives. Figure skating isn’t like school, but showing up at work seems to be. “I’ve got this,” is a badge of honor.

A coaching paradox | Seth’s Blog

I’m thinking about this in relation to teaching. When do I have the time to do all this?

Consistency > intensity

My issue is and has always been consistency. Life always gets in the way eventually. Plus I just don’t like working out on the balcony. I like to exercise but part of that is getting away from everything for a bit.

8am on a Sunday morning. Coffee on the sofa with the kids and having a cry at the end of Raya and the last dragon.

Finally got around to having a Chinese lesson.

I live in the country so feel like I should be doing more. It is just it’s not a priority as family, work, exercise and sleeping get in the way. It frustrates me.

Also, if only I moved to a country with an easier language!

Bit late to the party but Breath of the Wild is pretty good isn’t it?

“The Library didn’t only contain magical books, the ones which are chained to their shelves and are very dangerous. It also contained perfectly ordinary books, printed on commonplace paper in mundane ink. It would be a mistake to think that they weren’t also dangerous, just because reading them didn’t make fireworks go off in the sky. Reading them sometimes did the more dangerous trick of making fireworks go off in the privacy of the reader’s brain.”
• Soul Music

This popped up on Reddit.

Funny since I was reading this earlier too > Reading and Writing: A Reciprocal Relationship

Notifications Off! The Distraction-Free Benefits of Five-Hour Work Days

“When you are a social person like I am, have two kids as I do, and you also want to make time for sports, the load quickly becomes unsustainable. It is inhumane.”

Pro: I’m naturally waking up early and feeling good.
Con: So are my kids.

Italia 1990 World Cup BBC end credits

Hot pot.

Signal somehow sent a confirmation message to my Chinese phone number. It wasn’t working before. Amazing!

(No more using my old phone!)

Lijiang, China.

All the mushrooms 🍄

If you’re missing any garlic, I think I found it.

• I don’t remember the last time I used it.
• My bank accounts are ok.
• It’s ok. I can get quite caught up and stressed about things like this.
• I should look properly in all the places.
• Sorting out the shelves will now be easier.
• I found one of Elise’s missing toys.

Taobao is a Chinese platform for selling. 99% of the things I buy online are from it. It has everything you need and plenty you don’t.

It’s also, kind of, like a social media substitute. I was reading this article and it’s possible to just scroll and scroll.

Link

Coffee and book and dance lessons.

I am loving this book, I’m already feeling sad that the more I read the less I have left.

Also, I watched the trailer for the adaptation. Tom Holland! Daisy Ripley! Mads Mikkelsen! But I don’t think I’ll bring myself to watch it though.

‘Unnecessarily cruel’: how Australia’s closed border is forcing migrants to leave permanently

I do not know how I feel about this article.

I, we, are in a very similar situation. We were lucky my parents came to visit at Christmas 2019. Otherwise, we’d be heading for 2 years without seeing them. It’s now almost 2 years since we’ve left China, with no apparent end in sight. We’ve just sort of accepted that we can’t leave and won’t be leaving anytime soon.

Of course, it’s not that we can’t leave. It’s that if we did we wouldn’t get back in and then I would lose our main source of income.

Though, not seeing my family for a while is sort of normal for us.

The additional issue, for me personally, is that we live in my wife’s hometown. Most of the time, I’m ok with our situation and sometimes it’s really hard.

Photo by Yumo, 3.

Coffee and book and roller skating lessons.

• Last day at school - Which is always strange in our environment.
  
• Worked out and burnt my nose.
  
• Lunch with colleagues and didn’t drink.
  
• Got gifted Santorini
  
• Went to a theme park
  
• Had a salad for dinner
  
• Watching some more Lupin
  

Schools out for the summer!

The carry got tough but glad I stuck with it.

Though doing it in this heat was fun.

Album t-shirts are a thing but are book cover t-shirts?

I’d rather sip water all day and Lyra has this big water bottle to do that but I find it much easier to just occasionally down a big glass of water.

We finally decided to buy a Switch so I can play BOTW. Lyra wanted Just Dance and so those are the two games she bought…

View from a friend’s flat. This city manages to be incredibly built up but still has lots of greenery. (And golf courses.)

We’ve finally visited the theme park 10 minutes from our house.

It’s taken 7 years!

But it’s a kid visit so the big rides will have to wait.

Despite living in China and not Japan, lots of head nodding to this video titled 12 Reasons not to move to Japan.

Drum and Bass on a bike - loving this.

This makes me miss the UK. Funny the things that do that.

Work will subsidise a new MacBook!

Should I get a Pro over an Air? Did I need a Ram upgrade?

Too hot. 105ish in F.

Today I’m grateful for air con in the lift.

I’m so tired. Such a fun weekend but not relaxing!

Hiding in the hotel bathroom because it’s 6am and I’m wide awake but everyone else is sleeping.

Chengdu.

🐼

An odd day.

Kids have been themselves which has, at times, been overwhelming. But we’ve also travelled, had some delicious food, a few drinks and spent some time with close friends.

🍺

Chameleon on Apple Arcade is the worst. The simple jump with one press and change colour with another is ridiculous. It feels like it is breaking my brain.I’ve wasted far too much time picking it up and trying to complete the goals. Over and over and over. Highly recommended.

🚅

I love my daughter, obviously.
And it’s amazing how she effortlessly switches between 2 languages without a thought.
However, when she says chips when she means crisps it hurts. I’m not going to lie.

The parcel my sister sent from California to China 7 months ago arrived…

It arrived back in California.

At least it wasn’t lost?

Slowly getting some board games that are at the very least can be played with 2 people. So Lyra and I can play together. We picked up Onitama and then Splendor (Marvel version) arrived today.

Not bad actually!

I am so grateful that Mythic Quest on Apple TV+ is released weekly. I enjoy it so much more for that.

Coffee, noodles (not pictured), more coffee and some games with friends from work.

Loki is out this week! A nice surprise indeed.

The Daily Dad

As we’ve said before, our kids don’t owe us anything. It is we who are obligated to them, by virtue of our choice to bring them into this world. And yet how often do we, as parents, think about whether we’re making our kids proud? How often are we letting them down—with how we eat, what we say, where we work, or even choices we make in our personal lives? How often does that haunt us, the way feeling like a disappointment haunts them?

Arlo Parks: Tiny Desk (Home) Concert - YouTube

Didn’t realise she’s only 19. Wow.

Definitely better in a glass bottle. Reminds me of drinking in a similar fashion, stood outside a small shop when visiting Mauritius.

Seneca wrote that death isn’t just some inevitable event in the future. Death is happening right now, he says. The time that passes belongs to death, he reminds us. We can’t take it for granted. We only have so many summers at home together with our kids, as we’ve written. Only so many drives to school. Only so many graduation ceremonies. Every time they wear out a coat, every time they outgrow a pair of shoes or a pair of pants. Those moments mark movement. They are the hash marks of the homemade growth chart on the kitchen door frame. They tick off opportunities for time together that never come back. Don’t waste them!

Daily Dad

“I’m not saying we’ll live to see some sort of paradise. But just fighting for change makes you stronger. Not hoping for anything will kill you for sure.” —Leslie Feinberg, Stone Butch Blues. (Happy Pride.) 

> Laura Olin Newsletter

Still can’t bring myself to write in my new notebook. It always starts so neat and then…

Hi. I’m giving a colleague a notebook for the next academic year. I want to add some words In it. What positive messages, words could I put in it? Particularly as she’ll be taking on a team leader role for the first time. Any ideas?

FYI it’s not Wednesday as I thought, it’s only time Tuesday.

Looking down

Posters for Japan’s National Pillow Fight Contest - Spoon & Tamago These are cool but the pillow fight looks like dodgeball, with pillows.

Was playing games and having a beer outside just as I got a message from a friend that they were going into lockdown again. Feeling grateful I can do that.

“Darling, the internet isn’t working.” “Have you…” “Yes. Also, my phone is out of credit. Can you top me up?” “That’ll be why the internet is down. I’ll top you up and hopefully it won’t take long.” “What?” 5mins later, everything is back to normal.

That’s a ridiculous system.

Back after a week, felt good to lift heavy again.

This was not the right way to go it we got to where we need to be!

Lunch! Two different pancakes and cold noodles.

Long week. Will be happy when reports are handed in next week.

For all that your kid has been through this past year, and all they will go through in the years to come, you have to continue to believe in them. They are not broken. They don’t need to “be realistic” or settle. Every kid—your kid, even your unhappiest, unluckiest kids—can be something and someone provided they are given that one person who believes in them. Someone willing to gift them with expectations, to push them toward places they’ve never even heard of. Someone willing to be a fan, even when things are bleak. Someone who is willing to help and encourage and fight for them.

That has to be you. For your kids…and all kids.

Every Kid Needs This From At Least One Person – Daily Dad – The Blog

Trying to get some work done before the weekend is proving stressful. Grateful though for making myself exercise though.

I realised that Signal was blocked in China but didn’t realise that I can’t receive a verification code to my new phone on my Chinese number. Which means, Signal works on my old phone and MacBook but not my new phone.

twitter

Also, I had to called the UK government to sort something out and while the automated system kicked me out during the first call, the second time the lady sorted the problem quickly.

New phone!

• Can’t get a Signal verification code.
• Not used to the not having a home button
• Or 3D press
• And I really need to sort my photos out

When the kids are grumpy just as you walk out the door to go to work is the worst.

We can’t let a bad day or a bad person get in the way of being a good parent. And we definitely can’t let them make us a bad parent. We can’t let these outside factors do more damage than they already do. Leave them at the front door. Away from the things and the people you really love.

Don’t Let Them Do More Damage – Daily Dad

Not quite sure this is how you do it…

Two bags dad.

If/When we leave China the lack of cheap, delicious noodles is going to be a problem.

Excuse the photo, new phone next week!

Tim Duncan’s Basketball Hall of Fame Enshrinement Speech - YouTube

“You showed up after I got drafted. You came to my island. You sat with my friends, my family. You talked with my dad. I thought that was normal. It’s not.”

Not a basketball fan and don’t really know either of these people but this quote but I liked this quote a lot.

As a parent and a teacher, how should I act and how do I want to be remembered?

Tim Minchin covers Ball Park Music ‘Exactly How You Are’ for Like A Version - YouTube

When Yumo stops saying “Daddy cuddle high,” when he wants me to pick him up will a sad day indeed.

Just had my second dose.

Kids are shouting.
I’m drinking coffee, making breakfast and listening to an “I miss Emo” playlist.
It’s 7am on Saturday.

⚡️

the examined family, Courtney Martin: ‘Hard conversations don’t fix hard things.’

That was something the comedian Hasan Minhaj told me his father told him to guide him in a conflict. Sometimes, it’s important you’re right and you stand up for yourself, and you take the consequences. Other times, it’s more important to be together, and you figure out which differences or conflicts you can let slide for the sake of a relationship. We have to do both at different times, sometimes in the same conversation!

Today was pull ups, lunges and then some time on the assault bike! Was fun because Helen and I were finishing at the same-ish time so ended up racing.

Starting and finishing

Sometimes the rule is:

You don’t have to finish, but you do have to start.

And sometimes the rule is:

You don’t have to start, but if you do, you have to finish.

When building a personal habit, it might make sense to embrace the first rule. You don’t have to run all the way, every day, but you do have to get out of the house and start running.

And when making promises to a group where trust matters, the second rule definitely applies.

Ha. 5 minutes later I read this.

That’s why kids can never “take away” from our careers or “hold us back.” They can’t interrupt our work because they are our work. We are always teaching them. We are teaching them that we care. We are being there for them. We are stating our priorities.

They Are Your Work

There’s plenty of extra work I need to do but after I’ve done my normal work and family stuff the idea of picking myself up again at 9pm just isn’t happening.

Which means the work is hanging over me and making me stressed.

20 back squats Row 4K 20 back squats

I hate running but I’ll always row.

Why time for reflection is the key to teacher CPD | Tes News

The CPD puzzle: why don’t teachers keep improving?

Yesterday was lovely, kids were at school* and Lyra and I went to IKEA in the morning. Then she went out and got a few things done.

But today was the opposite.

I’ve struggled with feeling with it. And I’ve got work I need to do, and I got some done yesterday. I’m feeling like I don’t want to do it if I’m not in the right frame of mind which is a change to the way I think. It’s something I normally get stressed about, that if I’m not doing it right now then that is a problem. I know in my head I always manage to get things done but still… I didn’t do anything today in the end but am feeling like I should have!

Try again tomorrow?

*Yeah, in China you get 3 days off but only one is free so you have to work two Saturdays to pay it off.

If you want kids who listen to you, you have to strive to be worthy of being listened to. If you want kids that spend time with you, be someone they want to spend time with.

If You Want Them To Listen – Daily Dad

Added most of the newsletters I wasn’t reading to my rss. Thanks @dancohen for the suggestion!

I think we’ve fetishized the idea that your job should be your passion. It’s ok for your job to just be a job.

From my perspective, a calling isn’t a job or an industry. It’s an activity or an impact. When you can identify your calling in these terms, you can start to imagine many ways for it to exist in your life.

Exit Interviews: Phoebe Gavin - An OpenNews project

Teaching Kids Kindness Prepares Them for Success - The Atlantic

Mads Mikkelsen, In Conversation

My approach to what I do in my job — and it might even be the approach to my life — is that everything I do is the most important thing I do. Whether it’s a play or the next film. It is the most important thing. I know it’s not going to be the most important thing, and it might not be close to being the best, but I have to make it the most important thing. That means I will be ambitious with my job and not with my career. That’s a very big difference, because if I’m ambitious with my career, everything I do now is just stepping-stones leading to something — a goal I might never reach, and so everything will be disappointing. But if I make everything important, then eventually it will become a career. Big or small, we don’t know. But at least everything was important.

Stopping to return a football that went over the fence.

“Football is life!”

Cal Newport, Study Hacks: The Neuroscience of Busyness

There was a time, not that long ago, when the standard response to the query, “How are you?”, was an innocuous “fine”; today, it’s rare to encounter someone who doesn’t instead respond with a weary “busy.”

Does the wiring of our brains play a role in this reality?

And

Like the subjects in the experiments reported in this recent paper, however, the best solution to these problems might often instead be to do less.

Less?!

Also, I don’t subscribe to see the responses but this question made me think:

What work would you do if your industry was required to treat you with respect?

link

Reasons to be Cheerful: When Italians Abandoned This Village, Refugees Brought It Back to Life

I don’t ‘call’ people, except my Mum.

I can’t even imagine calling/Facetiming the people I consider closest to me.

Living in another country, another time zone, even with COVID.

I still struggle with it.

That said, I appreciated calling Mum this evening.

We say some things.

“The kindest people are not born that way, they are made. They are the sounds that have experienced so much at the hands of life, they are the ones who have dug themselves out of the dark, who have fought to turn every loss into a lesson. The kindest people do not just exist – they choose to soften where circumstance has tried to harden them, they choose to believe in goodness, because they have seen firsthand why compassion is so necessary. They have seen firsthand why tenderness is so important in this world.” – Bianca Sparacino

swissmiss

Sacrilegious for someone of my profession to say, maybe, but I don’t like giving people books unless they’re 1) books they’ve asked for 2) really nice editions of books they already love. Otherwise, it feels like giving someone work. “Did you read that book I gave you yet?!?”

Nobody wants to read a book - Austin Kleon

Elise’s Rules 1. If your piece is taken you can put it back anywhere on the board on your next move. 2. You can swap sides.

I like the browse sometimes while my class is looking for books to take out of the school library. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been reading a few pages of “The Knife of Never Letting Go” by Patrick Ness. A YA book about a dystopian future where a boy, soon to be a man, lives in a world where everyone can hear everyone else’s thoughts. The Noise.

Anyone, I picked it up today since YA books are sometimes enough. Turns out a film came out this year too!

“Updating an Apple Watch Series 3 is a nightmare in 2021”

I like mine well enough. It’s useful for being a silent alarm and telling the time because that’s all I really use it for.

The Verge

Fred again.. feat. The Blessed Madonna - Marea (We’ve Lost Dancing) (Official Video) - YouTube

This video!

The new Marvel megatrailer: The Guardian

And, I don’t know about you, but there was a moment towards the end of the trailer where my excitement gave way to a creeping dread at the sheer relentlessness of its release slate. Marvel is a monopoly now. A juggernaut. There’s no use fighting it. Better to just go limp and let it stomp all over you.

Do exercise. Feel better.

Spain’s Four-Day Work Week Is a Game Changer

“The key is flexibility,” he adds. “Some workers might prefer to have four days, or others might prefer to spread their 32 hours of work across five days.

I can dream!

100 swings and 10 Turkish get ups. Just to get moving a little.

This popped up on the Dance XL playlist and I haven’t stopped listening to it.

This year we’ve had to lose Our space, we’ve lost dancing We’ve lost the hugs with friends and And people that wе loved All these things that wе took for granted (We’ve lost dancing) (We’ve lost dancing) If I can live through (We’ve lost dancing) This next six months (We’ve lost dancing) Day by day (We’ve lost dancing) If I can live through this (We’ve lost dancing) What comes next Will be Marvellous

Fred again.. - Marea (We’ve Lost Dancing

Today I’m grateful for Lyra taking the kids out so I can a little time and space.

So, obviously I’ve spent the morning tidying and sorting and rewatching Barry.

Took the kids to the theatre to see and adaptation of a Chinese book.They mostly loved it and I think it was a good experience for them. Was definitely a point when Yumo had had enough though.

As well, we were in a theatre with a few hundred people which feels normal for here but definitely not when looking at the rest of the world.

Elise knows how to use the camera from the iPhone Lock Screen. She just took this!

Rediscovering Enter Shikari through some of their concerts on YouTube and the first album I listened to.

Not sure what the family made of it when I put it on in the car though.

Today I am grateful for coffee.

As I am every day. I’m cutting down though. Coffee at work isn’t great. Quality not quantity!

Also, I’m going to do my gratitude posts in the morning. Evenings don’t really work for me.

What’s better for children: sleep or exercise?

the team examined the optimal balance between children’s physical activity, sleep, and sedentary time across the 24-hour day to better inform tailored lifestyle choices.

On a minute-for-minute basis, moderate-to-vigorous physical exercise was shown to be 2-6 times more potent than sleep or sedentary time.

One of my favourite ice lollies. In the UK we would call them Twisters but her in China they’re called “lots of circles.”

I can’t not say, they were much bigger when I was younger.

Today I’m grateful for feeling better then I have all week.

Summer is coming.

As I drove to work that I’d forgotten to brush my teeth. Then I realised I’d be hugging the kids instead. I’m ok with that.

Today I’m grateful for having some time without kids at home.

Lunch and coffee with Lyra.

Mum would call it ‘potching about’. Though a quick search doesn’t throw anything up. It’s where you’re just doing a bit of this and that around the house. With kids, I rarely get to do it. This morning, I’ve had coffee, put some washing on, hung some washing up, watched some Netflix, tidied the kid’s room a bit. I’ve potched about. It’s been nice!

More morning art.

So, sometimes I sit on a bean bag in the kid’s when they go to sleep. Recently Yumo has been getting out of bed to either give me a cuddle, to tell me he loves me or to give me a kiss.

Which is the absolute best and most frustrating thing. I love you too but go to sleep.

Today I’m grateful for having dinner with friends who understood that I was just really tired and not on top of my game.

There’s totally a difference between when chatting online someone says lol but isn’t really laughing and when you actually make them laugh. I can feel it!

Morning art

This Tiktok video about working retail really tickled me. Must have watched it 10+ times since yesterday. video

Kurt Vonnegut // “Nobody will stop you from creating. Do it tonight. Do it tomorrow. That is the way to make your soul grow… The kick of creation is the act of creating, not anything that happens afterward. I would tell all of you watching this screen: Before you go to bed, write a four line poem. Make it as good as you can. Don’t show it to anybody. Put it where nobody will find it. And you will discover that you have your reward.”

from https://www.nitch.com

Our flat is too small to watch TV at night after the kids have gone to bed, mostly I’m ok with it but it can annoy me.

Today we got take away noodles and went to watch Nobody at a place with a giant screen, a sofa and a decent sound system.

The film is ridiculous but fun

Got vaccinated yesterday! But then got frustrated with the kids not sleeping. Then got up before 6 to give myself a little time to myself where I wasn’t stressed. Has been nice.

Lyra: Let’s have pizza.
Me: OK. Which place shall we order from?
Elise: I WANT CHEESE PIZZA.

Enjoying James Hoffman’s second episode about the Aeropress - Understanding the Aeropress . He does a lot of testing. Really interesting as I’ve been using mine daily recently.

It started with a thing happening recently, then it made me realise something and finally I’m still sitting with it because I’m not sure what else to do.

The plan was only ever to go and work abroad for a ‘bit’. Though, to say it was a plan is, perhaps, giving it a little too much structure. So I upped and left the country at 8 weeks notice makes me think two things. In any case, I’m coming up on my 10th year out of the UK somehow.

To come back to my point, I realized that all the posts and articles of how lockdown/quarantine suddenly felt a lot like I sometimes feel. That living so far away feels a lot like being trapped at home. That separation. I have my life here but even after all this time I still feel like I yearn for my life back in the UK. Relationships maintained through chat apps particularly for me. Especially as I’ve been one to ‘call and chat’, Mum excluded of course.

Today is my brother’s and Jenn’s birthday and again it is just hard not being closer.

Episode 5 of Mythic Quest was something else. Quite the depature from the rest of the series.

Something about when the kids take photos of me.

咖啡☕️

There’s a bar near us. That is now closing. It happens a lot. Us Westerners (foreigners) like bars. Here in China people eat AND drink generally. There are bars but restaurants dominate. Generally.

It’s strange. I feel sad it’s closing. I don’t go there a lot but I’ll miss it all the same.

烧烤。

It’s weird how kids grow up.

Like, the physical stuff, getting bigger, walking and talking you kind of expect but the cognitive stuff is sometimes strange and disarming.

Elise freestyles but the microphone didn’t work so well.

Reading with Yumo

Morning routine of shower with cold water to finish, meditation and then coffee and Chinese practice works so much better when the kids aren’t up before 7.

The challenge will be doing those things when they do!

Started the day well and feel like that carried me through the rest of the day until I exercised after work.

Before and after. Took a year but I finally got it cut.

Ok, totally into The Falcon and The Winter Soldier now. That ending, crikey.

Also, one house of Zemo dancing

Can’t wait for Loki after watching the trailer. Much more my cup of tea compared to Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

Going away with the kids is always “fun” but hotel breakfast makes up for it!

Walking home

Lovely evening. Played a couple of games of Splendor and a first game of Catan. Watched the latest episode of AEW Dynamite and had a few beers.

If this isn’t nice!

We did try to find a name we liked for our second that started with V so that our initials would spell L.O.V.E. but couldn’t find something.

Jump!

When you’re simultaneously annoyed at your child but also realise you need to console them.

For example when they did something you asked them not to and it ended in tears.

Is there a quick way to share a website I’m looking at on Micro.blog? There’s nothing on the share icon in Safari…

Interesting conversation with E about why she can speak two languages. She’s not really sure, maybe it’s her teachers? So jealous of her sometimes! Switching effortlessly between two languages is all she knows.

I’ve stopped eating poached eggs.*

*When Y is around as he always wants to eat all of them.

E decided to join us today. She’s going to read for 7minutes a day.

Day 3 done

Once again, the only thing that I’ve needed to change was myself.

Hopeful that the new morning routine of cold shower (after hot, obviously), coffee and reviewing my Chinese will start to stick.

It will no doubt get me into trouble with the medical profession, but it is not too much of an exaggeration to say that you can eat as much as you like, drink as much alcohol as you want, slob about as much as you fancy, fail to do your exercises and live in as polluted an atmosphere as you can find, and you will barely notice the difference. But having no friends or not being involved in community activities will dramatically affect how long you live.

This Is How To Make Emotionally Intelligent Friendships: 6 Secrets

6x 500m with 3 minutes rest in between each set.

Rowing is the devil.

Our teaching team had 31 parent meetings. 31!

So much sitting on small chairs.

Zen Habits

At the end of a day of work, there can be a simple practice of wrapping things up and shutting down for the day.

But so many of us feel guilty at simply stopping, and this feeling that we should be doing more … it drives some of us to keep going as long as we can.

This can lead to overwork, burnout, tiredness, and never letting ourselves enjoy a moment of rest.

Do you relate to this guilt of simply stopping and resting?

When you recommend something in a game but it fails… Oops. I’m also very sorry for what I did.

Grandparents are in and we’re out with friends staying in the hotel we got married at.

Also, this photo from last night.

We go out to eat with friends a fair bit and I always find it difficult. I want to to go out with friends but find the kids being themselves stressful. So, now I just accept it and we take toys and I spend time with them.

Daddy exercise became family exercise.

Sit ups because high five sit ups. Squats and tuck jumps they did themselves.

It’s all good. Before, I think, it would have frustrated me.

I never used to lie in before I had kids.

Now that I have kids. I can’t.

This message is brought to you by getting up at 7am on Saturday.

From Austin Kleon whose blog is, if you said I could only visit a few websites would be up there.

Also, Kottke’s, another favourite website, reply:

Yes, this. But also: I am torn between a) the knowlege that I need to cut myself some slack and b) the continuous criticism of myself. Working on it!

China is maybe changing tax laws next year which may have a big impact on me. Clear as mud.

Always interesting the cultural differences that pop up when you marry someone with different life experiences.

For example today, Lyra looked at me like she didn’t know me when I made a chip butty at dinner.

I miss a proper chippie dinner with some bread and butter!

I do like reading through the Discover timeline. Especially after reading the recent articles on Facebook and it’s misinformation addictjon

Baltimore restaurant owner drove 6 hours to cook for customer with cancer - The Washington Post

Who’s cutting onions?

I spent some time last night writing down the 8 rules from the link I posted yesterday.

Two things happened to me today as I was driving that made me feel good.

1. A car pulled out of front of me, this much is normal round her, but instead of having to force myself to be calm. I just was.
2. After the gym today, I wasn’t overwhelmed by feeling good. It just was.

Talking to Rich about albums and he gave me this list. Which I intend to get through eventually, maybe starting with the ones I know I haven’t listened to.

Dj Shadow - Endtroducing
Massive Attack - Mezzanine
Chemical Brothers - Dig your own hole
Leftfield - Leftism
Amon Tobin - Permutation
Daft Punk - Homework
Bjork - Homogenic
UNKLE - Psyence fiction
Portishead - Dummy
Orbital - In sides
Photek - Modus Operandi
Goldie - Timeless

Eight Rules

These make sense to me.

Do not run away from the thought you may be an idiot as if this were a rare and dreadful insight. Accept the certainty with good grace, in full daylight. You are an idiot but there is no other alternative for a human being.

Success at School vs. Success in Life

“We need to be outwardly entirely obedient while inwardly intelligently and committedly rebellious.”

Is there a simple way for me to make my archives page something other than the giant list it currently is? I just wanted to find something from a year ago and just had to scroll a lot, are there other options?

I wrote this mini-book a year ago today!

It was the start of us coming out of lockdown.

Yet a year later, while we go about quite normally things are still ongoing around the world.

So proud of Elise. She played “car dj” using my phone to play tracks off her playlist and we listened to 3 WHOLE songs. Not 10 seconds of many songs. So proud.

Haim - Rock and Roll Rules Shakira - Try Everything The Rainbooms - Rainbow Rocks

Put Roni Size - New Forms on in the car today and no one complained.

Following up with Goldie - Timeless and rediscovered 4 Hero’s album Two Pages which is just amazing.

What are you missing?

Glamour.com

“We didn’t know it was bad, because you seemed okay,” my daughter said. “And if you are okay, then everything else is.”

Parenting in this pandemic has felt like I am the only barrier between my children and the cliff’s edge of the world.

Via Metafilter

I’ve been trying to use my phone and computer less.

Most notifications have been turned off. I’m trying to pick it up less but it’s hard. To be more conscious in my use of both.

But it’s hard.

We organize our lives to maintain the pressures and boundaries we’re used to. We’d like to pretend we’re just going to bear with it until we get through this urgency, but we’re usually lying to ourselves.

A new habit takes at least thirty uncomfortable days to form, and a new habit is unrelated to the external forces (positive and negative) that we’re so good at finding and embracing.

[https://seths.blog/2021/03/oh-the-places-youll-go-back-to/](https://seths.blog/2021/03/oh-the-places-youll-go-back-to/

Album Update

Jon Hopkins - Immunity
Anthony and the Johnsons - I am a bird now

Question is, is posting what I’m listening to affecting what I’m listening to?

swissmiss: Home

“Home is not where you are born; home is where all your attempts to escape cease”.
― Naguib Mahfouz

Seth Godin: Resilience

Resilience is a commitment to a design, an attitude and a system that works even when things don’t turn out the way we planned. Especially then.

There’s more and more smaller coffee shops in the city. Often they’re “Internet famous” for their decor and full of people taking photos of themselves^ but if the coffee is good I’m ok with that.

^Obviously it’s different if we do it!

Didn’t buy it but after messaging British friends will buy one next time FOR SCIENCE!

(It’s not going to be nice.)

How stressed I am seems directly related to the number of times I press the key fob to lock the car.

1 - as good as it gets
5 - normal levels
10- pretty stressed
10 times and then walk 5 minutes and turn round to go back and press 10 times - pretty bad

China has employed blunt but effective quarantine measures to contain Sars-CoV-2 successfully, and life in the country has largely returned to normal. Though it authorised its first vaccines for emergency use in July, just 4% of the country has been vaccinated so far.

“One of the most important contributors is this perception that China has a low risk of infection,” said Yanzhong Huan, director of the Center for Global Health Studies at Seton Hall University in New Jersey. “So people think, why bother to get vaccinated? We’re already safe.”

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/mar/17/why-covid-vaccine-home-produced-india-russia-china-slow-start

I find myself thinking that too.

We’ve yet to hear anything from work, who would be our go between for us getting the vaccine, about getting vaccinated.

But while we haven’t, we’re going about as normal… Going to work, going out, not really thinking about infection.

Of course, it’s frustrating not being able to leave the country to see family but…

Power Trip - Live in Seattle (Thrash metal but I read an article about them and had a listen. Was a nice warm up for the day.)
Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath (Gym)
Slipknot - Slipknot (Gym)
Sam Smith - In The Lonely Hour (post gym)
Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago (Working)
Maximo Park - Nature Always Wins (Saw it browsing Apple Music, a blast from the past)
Metallica - Master of Puppets (Commute)
Various artists - Dark Was The Night (Jenn got me onto this 12 years ago. Still like it, especially the Yeasayer track.)

5 rounds 15 one arm kettlebell swings (since I didn’t have a heavier kettlebell) 15 burpees

10:41

Then after

5x10 seconds on the Assault Bike

Hence the lying down. 10 seconds can be a long time.

Morning cuddles

The morning between getting up between 6:10 and leaving at 7:10ish is all about feeling like I need a little time to myself and often spending time with the kids. And, honestly, it’s a battle sometimes.

1 mile run. 2k row. 1 mile run.

Nice and steady. Still feels strange to run but got it done.

Temperatures are rising too, 23 today.

FaceTiming nainai and Elise was talking about her day.

Apparently her new phrase is, “boys are mad.”

We’ve been told we can leave our province during our Easter break. Woo! Still no idea when we can leave the country though.

(It’s good because we’ve already booked a holiday.)

The Strokes - Is This It? Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Californication Alt-j - An Awesome Wave Future Islands - As Long As You Are

Continuing with full albums. Got my first recommendation of Future Islands. Which is right up my street.

Looks like a nice spot to sit.

Album 2.

Keaton Henson - Birthdays

I heard on of the tracks on Sherlock (the US version) and apparently listened to this album a lot in 2015.

But it’s the track ‘You’ I’ll always come back to.

If you must die, sweetheart
Die knowing your life was my life’s best part

And

If you must work
Work to leave some part of you on this earth
If you must live, darling one

Just live

Today’s new idea that I just thought of but haven’t thought through.

This week, I’m going to listen to albums.

Starting with Way Out West and Intensify.

I’m currently reading Exhalation by Ted Chiang. One of the short stories involves the interactions between a missionary and a child he has met. They talk about writing.

“Moseby explained to Jijingi how each a person spoke could be indicated with a different mark on the paper. The marks were arranged in rows like plants in a field you looked at the marks as if you were walking down a row, made the sound each mark indicated, and you would find yourself speaking what the original person had said.”

Then words.

”… But you need to leave spaces when you write.” “I have.” Jijingi pointed at the gap between each row. “No, that is not what I mean. Do you see the spaces within each line?” He pointed at his own paper. Jijingi understood. “Your marks are clumped together, while mine are arranged evenly.” “These are not just clumbs of marks. … Where I come from, we call them ‘words’. When we write we leave spaces between the words.” “But what are words.” “How can I explain it?” He thought a moment. “If you speak slowly, you pause very briefly after each word. That’s why we leave a space in those places when we write. Like this: How. Many. Years. Old. Are. You?” He write on his paper has he spoke, leave a space every time he paused. “But you speak slowly because you’re a foreigner. I’m Tiv, so I don’t pause when I speak. Shouldn’t my writing be the same?” “It does not matter how fast you speak. Words are the same whether you speak quickly or slowly.”

It just struck me.

As a Year 1 (kindergarten) teacher, these are things we support students to learn every day. It was interesting to see a discussion that included someone who had never been exposed to the idea of writing or ‘words’.

If this isn’t nice.

Let’s talk about why I didn’t capitalise the last e.

It’s taken my 4 days but I’ve finally finished watching the AEW’s PPV.

Pleasant hour playing pool with Lyra.

I’m not sure I totally trust microwaves that don’t spin around.

Been listening to this a lot lately.

Though, still no closer to getting around to working out how to ask Siri for it.

All I could think of in the final episode of Wandavision was when Po fights Kai in the spirit realm in Kung Fu Panda 3 and he gives him all the chi and Kai can’t deal with it.

My take away is that, as a parent, most of my references at the moment are kids films.

Played Splendor (Marvel version) for the first time at lunchtime and then a unicorn sparkle game when I got home.

Though had to spend 15minutes looking for one of the die for the unicorn game before we could play. We’ve had the game two days…

testing1

The worst app for distracting me on my phone is the web browser.

4 episdoes of For All Of Mankind in a weekend is basically as close to binging as I’ll get.

Also, if I had to sum it up in one word it would be: smoking. So much smoking.

Started taking photos with Lyra’s old Sony camera. It’s kind of fun actually. I like it. Though, I have to use her old Macbook Air to take photos off the memory card as I’ve no way to do it on my Macbook Pro.

Just finished Here We Are (Notes For Living On Planet Earth) on Apple TV+, a kid’s program based on Oliver Jeffer’s book of the same name.

Really fun! Elise noticed that it was based off the book straight away, they use the same stylings and include everything in the book.

Enjoyed the 1st episode of For All Mankind. Especially as our Year 1 (kindergarten) class has been learning about space.

Gamers. Is a Switch still worth buying? 🎮 🕹

Am aware of our good fortune of being able to meet friends for dinner last night and Elise being able to have a birthday party today.

Feeling very up and down this week between work and kids and everything feeling a bit too much at times.

Slept better. Felt better. Had a morning cuddle.

Me: Do you want some more avocado? Elise: (sad voice)I just really want unicorns to be real.

🥑 🦄

Some time to not rush.

“The idea of “boundaries” has become so porous when it comes to cultivating work/life balance that it’s lost all meaning. People don’t respect boundaries. You don’t respect them. Even when the pandemic is over, it’s going to be very, very difficult to try to rebuild them. What we actually need are guardrails, big and sturdy ones, to protect us from the runaway semi-truck of work.

In our current framework, boundaries are the individual’s responsibility, and when they’re broken, it’s because the individual failed to protect them. But guardrails? They’re there to protect everyone, and they’re maintained by the state, aka your company. There are a lot of ways to actually build guardrails around employee’s lives,”

https://annehelen.substack.com/p/imagine-your-flexible-office-work

It started with Lyra, we’d say “I love you more than (thing that I really love - coffee and bacon for me, spicy food for her.”

Only Elise it has somehow changed to.

Elise: “I love you more than coffee for you.” Me: “I love you more than unicorns for you.”

If this isn’t nice.

Lyra’s birthday so she’s organised a big party for her and the girls. She’s going all out and is very excited. Me and the kids are going to watch tv and eat snacks until she gets back tomorrow.

It’s not a workout if you don’t take a selfie or track if…

Heavy deadlifts yesterday and 4K down the hill and back up this morning.

Started to think running isn’t so bad…

This article makes me miss the UK something rotten. 12 of Britain’s best new campsites and glampsites - Camping holidays - The Guardian

Yumo tends to speak to me mostly in Chinese, even if he mostly understands what I say in English. Sometimes though he’ll use Chinese and English in a sentence.

E.g. when reading he said - me jia you, which means ‘me house has that’ so starts English and switches to Chinese

Cold shower challenge.

Day 1: Ridiculous. 10 seconds. Onwards!

It started with my sister saying she was doing a challenge of going in the ocean every day and she got mum involved but they live in places you can do that, whereas I don’t. Then I read Leo Babuta’s post on ‘What I Learned About Facing Fear from Cold Swimming;’ which he is doing as part of his ‘discomfort challenges’.

So, as I was meditating a couple of days ago I put 2 and 2 together and got 4 but maybe 5 and decided cold showers should be a thing this week.

My bedtime routine involves meditation, some water, the Apple Music bedtime beats playlist, some reading and losing my patience with the kids because they won’t sleep.

Big takeaway was Elise was braver than we thought she’d be. Yumo had to deal with not being big enough for some of the rides.

Went for my first run with Helen today. - We didn’t anticipate waiting so long at pedestrian crossings. - But that meant we took it easy. Which was probably for the best. - Also we finished at Starbucks. - Then went to McDonalds. - But the weather was nice and it was good to get out.

🎡

Wandavision, eh?! So good. Now, I just need to watch it all again.

Fun to read online discussions about it though.

Local green plum wine served in the classiest of vessels.

The Daily Dad linked to Maggie Smith’s Poem called Good Bones and I’ve got it stuck in my head.

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.

I liked yesterdays Daily Dad

It’s not fair to subject your kids to all the things that have broken your heart in this world. It’s not fair to let your experiences deprive them of the hope and belief they need not just to survive but to be happy.

We have to stay positive. We have to keep trying. We have to remain strong—against the pull of bitterness and anger and hopelessness.

It makes me think of a couple of things that often come to mind. The first is them knowing my fears, or the things that I find difficult. The second is how I’m feeling and how they are aware of that - particularly the negative emotions.

Hill sprints with added weight*.

*Weight was one child and two badminton rackets.

Today was going to be me sitting alone doing stuff but has turned out to be sitting with people. And all the better for it.

This mornings movement.

Hot pot at friends.

Today I am grateful for the lady who had an appointment but let our kids get their hair cuts before her kids, which I totally didn’t expect.

Also, the kids are getting hair cuts so maybe I should too…

Hey Micro.blog if you haven’t watched Detectorists I think you should, it’a a British show about some metal detecorists and it’s nice in the best possible way. I think it’s on Amazon Prime. Here is a dodgy trailer, all the others the suggested videos were spoilers.

Morning workout with Lyra, kids joined later because the only time they don’t want to watch tv is when you want them to. Obviously.

Carole King’s Tapestry is 50 year old but I can still listen to it. For me, it reminds me of Mum and Dad playing it in the car. Which makes me think of road trips to France and staying in a tent or that time we stayed in Dad’s colleagues holiday home - I remember reading James Herbert horror novels because that’s what was on the shelf and the supermarket playing 7 Seconds by Neneh Cherry and Youssou N’Dour.

Other albums/artists I think about in the same way are by Kate Bush, Elton John and The Eurythmics.

Only 3 more episodes of Wandavision which doesn’t feel like enough… Latest episode was very interesting!

Signed up for the Fitness+ service but apparently I can’t Airplay to my old Apple TV 3. Which is hugely disappointing. I just get audio but no video.

Busy day.

Safari park this morning/afternoon. Then some time at Lyra’s uncles before dinner with her extended family. Lots of thoughts about dinner that I would like to put down.

Morning workout

swissmiss, swissmiss: The Good News

They don’t publish
the good news.
The good news is published
by us.
We have a special edition every moment,
and we need you to read it.
…

– Thich Nhat Hanh

Coffee grinder handle was in the bathroom, obviously.

Our Chinese New Year holiday started today with me being confused because my alarm was going off. Took me a moment to realise what was going on.

Ummmm, apparently people at work think this…

When it’s not even 7am and your Apple Watch is telling you to breathe.

Monday night! Whoop!

Daddy cuddle!

When I don’t get up because until the last minute because trying and failing to have five minutes to myself before work with two small children around is hard.

I just spent some real money and I can’t remember the last time I did that.

A little hungover today. Not too much that it meant I couldn’t go out but just enough that going out was, occasionally, not fun.

I’ve got my photo-taking workflow pretty well sorted now. 1. Go somewhere with Lyra. 2. Let her takes photos. 3. Airdrop them to me phone when we get home. 4. Send them to Mum and friends.

We caught up with the latest 2 episodes of Wandavision last night. Such a change from the first 2.

A walk out to have lunch, then naptime and then wine with some friends. Today was nice.

80rmb/£9/$12 with 300 games. A little bit tempted…

Facebook’s misleading campaign against Apple’s privacy policy

I’d be quite happy with a much smaller version of Facebook that allowed me to keep in touch with friends and family without all the privacy busting. I’d even pay for the privilege so I stopped being the product.

We be consistent
Because we old and we creak
But we still want abs

First attempt at Helen and I’s fitness creed.

That episode of Tokyo Diner was just what I needed after such a full-on day at work.

A choice, this or that
Time for you or time to sleep
Feels like, dreams or dreams

Getting time to myself or getting enough sleep. It’s one or the other.

Dug out a grinder I got given. Not the fastest but good enough.

Who am I to not let the kids help?!

Just got back from a Royal Rumble viewing with some people from work.

Was good fun. I like watching professional wrestling but was good to do it with other people.

Did some running because I don’t like it and that is why I did it. Tried to keep up with Helen and couldn’t. It was fun!

“This would be a cool place to come and work!”

We caught ourselves saying that today and realised that we should come to do something for us.

Our first no work-work club will be meeting soon!

Name and location to be confirmed.

gone away, away
i’ve come back down and settled
like sand in the sea

I remember reading about meditation being like letting mud, or was it sand, settle in water so that things become clear again. I’ve always carried that with me.

Coming away yesterday without the kids, having some time, not feeling stressed or letting anxiety muddy the water has been, nice, lovely, just what I didn’t realise I needed.

If this isn’t nice.

Hot Pot!

No taxis, it’s ok
I’ve had a drink, feeling fine
This man will take us!

We’ve gone away but couldn’t get a Didi (Uber), I mean we found one but he didn’t show up in the app so he wouldn’t take us. A shopkeeper overheard us and he took us for an inflated, for China, rate.

Deb from Napoleon Dynamite…

Our initials…

I prefer YELO though I think.

We had a conversation before Yumo was born that if his initial was V our collective initials would spell LOVE but it never happened.

Today in parenting.

Most stuff is trial and error. Though somethings, in hindsight, seem obvious.

Like not letting the kids run around just after eating. I’m not sure Lyra appreciated me laughing as we cleaned up vomit in the shopping centre.

Live and learn!

What’s your reasoning behind such a long passcode for your phone? Security?

Of a sort. My daughter learned my 4 digit and then it was kind of an arms race.

We do some more reading.

https://vimeo.com/313725613

After losing his leg to cancer as a young adult, Jon Wilson struggled with feeling broken. Challenging himself in the outdoors presented a possible remedy. Today, crutching up and skiing down mountains at night provides a distinct backdrop for Jon to explore, accept, and embrace the idea of “brokenness,” allowing him to find a more sincere, vulnerable and honest connection with life.

It’s ok to be broken. After all, the real power of being broken is knowing you can survive it again.

This brought tears to my eyes.

I broke in my own way in my early twenties. As he says,

And while I would never wish it on anyone, I would never trade in my scars,

Yup.

Without what I experienced I wouldn’t be the me I am today. The me I am, mostly, proud to be.

I’m watching Ted Lasso again.

I pay for Apple Music and also 200gb of storage. If I subscribe to One Family do I then need to cancel my storage as well?

The funny thing is all I ever wanted I already had
There’s glimpses of heaven in every day
In the friends that I have, the music I made
The love that I feel, I just had to start again

Hospital for souls - Bring me the horizon

Neither of us was 100% on Monday but back on it today! 1minute cardio (run/bike) 1 minute rest but I started a minute later.

No idea of metrics just tried to work hard.

Team Consistent!

Hey! This is your Trance Thursday reminder for tomorrow. Maybe let’s do a theme tomorrow? Favourite old track? Favourite new? Favourite mix? Maybe?

Feeling fitter, happier and more productive today.

Such a change. The difference is so noticeable.

If you tell the kids you’re going to do something, then do it, otherwise don’t say it. I hope it’s not just us, as parents, that often fail in this.

“Fine. No more tv/iPad/toys/fun/toast for the rest of your life.”

The last weekend, wasn’t great, and Lyra said no tv/screen time for the week*. And you know what, it’s not been so bad. It’s only been two days but we’ve stuck with it and I commented to Lyra that maybe we should stick with it… Funny, how it’s turned out really.

*When the grandparents come doesn’t count.

So curly at the moment!

Wonderwall x Smalltown Boy (Mashup Cover - I like this!

I predict that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cartoon Opening Theme (1987) will be my most played song this year.

1. Keep kids busy
2. Try not to go crazy
3. Try not to eat too much

My rules from day one of our lockdown/quarantine that started January 23rd 2020. I forgot to post it. So much has happened since.

Making worksheets for Maths on Monday on Saturday night is the most relaxed I’ve been all day. The kids haven’t had great days and it’s been so full on.

Elise likes these books, Daisy has an active imagination!

Loving the Tiktok Sea Shanty remixes. The electro (?) version in particular, it’s gone on my Omar playlist for 2021.

1. Watch Wandavision.
2. Discuss obvious stuff with Lyra.
3. Go online to read about all the stuff I missed.

Elise and I have copying a picture from an Anthony Browne book.

Yumo and I read a story together

Also, hot dog.

#teamconsistent

Thursday is the new Friday

Walked a new way home because Baidu Maps said we could. Took us down a random muddy path but it was a new perspective on the area we live in. Despite being so built up there’s still space around.

Elise talks about the banana laden book.

Having someone to go with makes it harder to not go and more fun when I do.

Having someone working a different level has been good too, in that it forces me to consider what I’m doing more. As I creep towards 40, I’m making choices about working out so I can work out again this week and next month and for the foreseeable future. I’m happy with the programme I’m doing, I like this quote from their website.

It is for these reasons and more that Linchpin focuses on long-term health and fitness. We want you (and your back, knees, and shoulders) to be fit, happy, healthy, and extremely capable for decades to come.

She talks about Zog by Julia Donaldson

Seth’s Blog, Seth Godin: Three types of kindness

We talk about Willy the Champ by Anthony Browne.

No idea what to make of the first 2 episodes of Wandavision honestly, but I know we’ll keep watching.

“I’ll follow you into the dark” cover by Frank Watkinson. I’ve been listening to the original recently but liked this one. Also, his house is so British and it makes me miss the place a bit.

link

Daddy’s Breakfast Diner is open. I’ll cook whatever you want as long as I have the ingredients. Midnight Diner on Netflix

The kids enjoyed the lychee and orange Oreos that have been released for Chinese New Year but I wasn’t a fan, just a strange taste.

“She’s a grown-up, isn’t she? Grown-ups and monsters aren’t scared of things?”

“Oh, monsters are scared,” said Lettie. “That’s why they’re monsters. And as for grown-ups…” She stopped talking, rubbed her freckled nose with a finger. Then, “I’m going to tell you something important. Grown-ups don’t look like grown-ups on the inside either. Outside they’re big and thoughtless and they always know what they’re doing. Inside, they look just like they always have. Like they did when they were your age. The truth is, there aren’t any grown-ups. Not on, in the whole wide word.”

…

I thought about adults. I wondered if that was true: if they were all really children wrapped in adult bodies, like children’s books hidden in the middle of dull, long adult book, the kind with no pictures or conversations.

Not sure why this passage struck me but it did and has me thinking about grown-ups and how we grow up and we’re the same but different.

Update: I’ve allowed Elise to dress herself. Mum is not going to love her choices.

What’s the quickest way to check when I bought my iPhone?

Youngest was being himself last night* so have been up since 4:30.

Fast forward to 7 and the kids are up and since Mummy is asleep we’re doing chocolate cereal with chocolate milk and now we’re going on a plane.

*Karma eh?!

Very proud of ourselves.

Not exactly the back of a lorry but close…

Operation Xmas Abs* has started again for another year.

*All very tongue in cheek but have started exercising again for mental and physical health.

I’m much calmer, things are bothering me less, I not getting hung up on things recently. Both at work and at home.

I know it’s that I’m meditating daily but I can’t quite believe it is since I only do very little, sometimes only 1 minute.

You Should Go to Bed Super Early - I’ve been trying to do this, it’s so easy to get distracted though…

Stressful week at work and then the kids not going to sleep easily last night and then not getting enough sleep followed by a day out at soft play and I am done.

Looking forward to going back to work on Monday for a rest.

In today’s ‘things that feel strange’ now… We had parents come in to school to talk about how their child is getting on.

“Amor Fati is a mindset that you take on for making the best out of anything that happens. Treating each and every moment – no matter how challenging – as something to be embraced, not avoided. To not only be okay with it, but love it and be better for it. So that like oxygen to a fire, obstacles and adversity become fuel for your potential.”

source

This is my monthly (?) thought that I wish I didn’t need an Instagram account to view “public” posts on it. I get that it’s so I sign up and help small businesses but I just don’t wanna.

When going out and eating feels extravagant.

Yes that’s a pasty, but because it’s China it has sweet potatoe noodles in!

In parenting news - Elise when Lyra offered her more melted cheese, her fav, from the pasta said, “I need to eat more pasta first.”?! - Yumo doesn’t like melted cheese from the pasta, which initially made me sad, but more for me. - Yumo throwing plates at me to wash up. Thanks dude

Yumo talks about some of the things he sees in a book. His Chinese is currently stronger than his English.

In other news, I’ve turned off notifications for Wechat and Whatsapp which normally leads me to checking my phone more just in case. Now though, I think I’m starting to turn a corner and feel like I’m overcoming the need to read messages the instant they appear.

We’ve all been ill the last 4/5 days (NOT COVID) but it’s meant I didn’t go back to work today and that I don’t feel ready to go back tomorrow. It just isn’t great honestly. I’ve not had the time to prepare and it’s just, frustrating.

Two of my favourite writed have made lists either today or yesterday. Austin Kleon has done 100 things that made my year that I’m slowly going through and picking at and Jason Kottke’s 21 things that kept me going in 2020 which I’m using for suggestions.

Laptops killed work-life balance - Saw this and it has been something I’ve been thinking about. Sometimes the convenience feels too much and I’d be better with a desktop. The thing is that I can’t be trusted!

Happy New Year everyone!

The clock ticked over just as we were putting our two to bed.

If this isn’t nice.

Does anyone grind their coffee at home? I think I’d like to, interested if anyone does?

Obviously I’m looking at things that aren’t cheap!

Our youngest’s favourite food is anything + plum sauce. Today was steamed fish and plum sauce and rice with plum sauce. Plum sauce on its own wasn’t allowed.

I like this reminder.

The parent who thinks this is an occupation you “win,” who believes it’s about those special, big moments, is missing a lot of majestic life as well. 

It’s not about the future, about getting through the terrible twos or terrible teens, on some idyllic end-result. The next milestone is not there to assure us the days of toil and hardship were worth it. We can’t forget to notice and appreciate the little pleasures of the experience, the right-here-and-now. 

Link

I always like reading John Gruber on Facebook, here he echos the Seth Godin’s piece, Facebook could do something but they just don’t want to.

Hired a lounge for the afternoon while the grandparents watched the kids.

We watched The Invisible Man which is Lyra’s cup of tea but definitely not mine.

The first rule of lasagne club is you do not talk about lasagne club.

The second rules is you can’t just have the cheese from the top. If you want more cheese then you have to eat the whole piece first.

Also, I thought Elise found the mushrooms I’d chopped up but she was just complaining about some onion.

Today was my 26th day of walking a(t least a) mile a day (in one go) in December. Tonight, I forgot to start my Outdoor walk workout on my Apple Watch but I got a buzz half way around to ask me if that was what I was doing and it had recorded the walk so far, which is cool.

I was thinking of writing a top 10 things I learned and I did honestly start thinking about that but I’m struggling to find the time at the moment. So, i’ll leave with you the two that I thought of so far.

1. I thought it would be a struggle to find the time, but it hasn’t been. Most of the walks I’ve done between 8 and 10pm. Probably a lesson there.
2. I’ve walked the same 2km route most days and that’s been fine too, I thought it would be monotanous but it really hasnt’t been. Probably a lesson there too.

As well, I’m happy with not doing any running at all, I meant to but with the walk I’m out of the flat pretty quickly as long as everything is charged and I don’t need to do anything

I keep coming back to Seth Godin’s post on social media, why it is the way it is and how it could be better. If only.

The successful people in your community or your industry (please substitute ‘happy’ for successful in that sentence) don’t act the way the influencers … do.

I can’t recommend Midnight Diner on Netflix highly enough. It’s about a small diner in Tokyo and the people in it. If it persuades you, I’m not tempted to look at my phone while watching and I watch all of the introduction. It’s nice in the way Ted Lasso is.

Happy Christmas everyone x

My Christmas resolution, which is a thing now unless it was already a thing, anyway, I’m going to read all the books I bought or was bought that have been piling up.

If I read half as much as I played on my phone, it’ll be easy…

2020 is the year of the Kind Movie — and it couldn’t have come at a better time

Also, tv because it mentions Ted Lasso and while I don’t think I agree with all the kind films I do like the idea. There’s lots of recommendations and discussion too in the Metafilter thread I saw the link.

And while I’m at it, I had meant to talk about Speed Cubers and Queen’s Gambit because they both caught my eye for similar reasons. The first is a documentary ostensably about people doing Rubik’s cube’s REALLY fast and that’s why I started it but it turns out to be about the rivalry and friendship. The latter, I just like how it resolved it in the end.

Fell down a bit this afternoon with using my phone but had lunchw ith Lyra, wrapped some presents am caught up on His Dark Materials, did a lesson of the Chinese course and cooked dinner while Elise watched Moana. So it’s not been so bad.

I’m trying to be more focused today, possibly tomorrow too, which mostly means not picking my phone up every ten seconds and using my computer more purposefully. Today’s struggle was trying to sit through of all of this TED talk without opening a new browser window to search for the speaker’s name or sending a message to someone about it. I managed it, which I’m pretty proud of.

It’s called Want to change the world? Start by being brave enough to care and I liked it a lot because it was something I benefited from hearing.

This time I woke up when the youngest crawled into bed with us sometime between 12 and 5am. Then the eldest joined us around 5:30. It this isn’t nice. I don’t know what is.

I feel like I’m better at knowing when i’m reaching my ‘breaking point’, especially with regards to my children and that point where I need to do something before I lost my patitence.

Though as I thought about writing this in my head I felt like breaking point are the wrong words since, it suggests that it’s a one time thing and not something that happens on a semi-regular basis.

I felt it today with the kids, being away in the hotel for a couple of days was nice, it really was but it got a bit much at the end.

What to do is when I notice it’s happening is a work in progress.

These two links popped up though that felt relevant：

1. Zen Habits - 8 Practices to Get Still and Calm
2. this list of things by Hope Hall when she starts to feel ‘overwhelmed or stressed or lose my center’

From the latter link is this line, which reasonated a whole lot because it says what I’ve been trying to do recently.

Try to put how you want to feel ahead of what you want to be or even do.

We’ve come to a hotel for two nights with two friends, we’re on our third bottle of wine, the kids were up till too late, we’ve not eaten much proper food, mostly biscuits, it feels as close to Christmas as it’s going to get!

Raffles in Chongqing.

Name writing

Did not like the Ted Lasso finale. It was perfect.

What’s your favourite Christmas film?

Bonus questions: What’s your favourite kid’s Christmas film?

I’d got this card for Lyra for Xmas but broke it out yesterday at McDonalds because it felt like a good time¹. I’d found it when looking for thank you cards for my team. It says, 好爱你 (hǎo ài nǐ) which literally translates as ‘good love you’ but actually translate as ‘(I) really love you’.

¹There was a staff quiz and I didn’t want to go, because at the moment me time trumps social time, but I’d had a couple of beers on the way home and it seemed like a good idea but then we stopped for Friday McDonalds dinner and suddenly it semed like a bad idea.

Yesterday I was thinking about this quote a lot:

If you always do what you’ve always done,
you’ll always get what you’ve always got.
Henry Ford

Especially as the semester has come to the end and I can’t help myself start thinking about the next one.

Yumo has a brief chat

Got gifted this. Looking for suggestions beyond eat it with a spoon. Which is also why I haven’t opened it.

I have a soft spot for some of Tiesto’s early mixes, particularly In Search of Sunrise 2 and Magik 7. Plenty of tracks that I love, I think partly because they connect me to an earlier time.

Both are on Apple Music but not Spotify unfortunately.

Just remembered that tomorrow is Trance Thursday and that has cheered me up!

We were due to fly (2 hours maybe) to the south coast of China (so not leaving China) in a week for a few days in the sun (only a few, hotel rooms get claustrophobic with 2 small children quickly) but after a few more cases appearing both in the city we’re in and around China (not massive amounts by any stretch, but still) we’ve decided to cancel (we’d probably be fine, but why risk it?).

Which is obviously a bit rubbish. Generally feeling a bit down at the moment. Mostly I’m ok with living abroad and being thousands of miles away from immediate family, but not at Christmas. Plus, it’ll soon be a year since I saw Mum and Dad when they came to visit last Christmas.

Yumo plays a clip from the nutcracker over and over.

Day 2 of writing her name

Elise has started writing her name after starting at kindergarten. Even though I teach students around her age, she doesn’t see me as a teacher, which is understandable, and I’m ok with not pushing.

I know I’ve read about Ted Lasso on here, I think @maique has mentioned it? But, I’ve been binging it this week and it’s just the best.

As a Brit, Ted’s American-ness is just not me but the way he builds people up and his kindness, especially to Nate, is a-mazing.

In other news, I upgraded to Micro.blog to the Year and in the process realised I need to be making more use of my Premium account. Also started an Apple One trial and in the process found that there’s an adaptation of one of my favourite kids books series called Stillwater.

We talk about Christmas and I try to make the most of my premium subscription!

Thanks all, Hover it is!

Where do you register your domains? Does it matter?

My 1 mile a day
Is the bestest part of it
Except cuddles, duh

This timelapse of the song Better Days by Radical Face. The technicality of it wasn’t my cup of tea but some of the words caught my attention.

Particularly…

And your head is pouring gasoline
On the person you prefer to be

Which sums it up pretty well.

Radical Face also wrote the second of three songs I used to play off an old and battered iPod Nano plugged into one of those little speaker sets that I used as my morning/wake up songs.

In order

1. Lanterns On The Lake - I will lay you down
2. Radical Face - Welcome Home
3. MOPP - Dream About You

And this was when I moved to Manchester to live in the room at the top of K’s house on a whim. Though whim is probably the wrong word, ‘because I saw no reason not too’ is probably a better way to put it. Which is also how I moved to China and Beijing and then Chongqing and then time passed and now living here is normal. When really it’s anything but.

For the last few weeks, really.

Today, I realised, maybe they’re connected?

I read a post on a forum of teachers working abroad about not feeling great about about not being able to go home at this time and that being hard.

Not seeing immediate family is fairly normal for me but we normally see Mum and Dad at least once a year, if not twice (!) and now it’s been a while and maybe that’s starting to get to me?

A mile a day continues, still only walking, building up to running, maybe. After Kottke linked to this post - (How Japanese People Stay Fit for Life, Without Ever Visiting a Gym - maybe I’ll stick with walking.

1. Read title and decide I’d like to make that.
2. Open link.
3. Look at list of ingredients.
4. Scroll page to read the rest of the list.
5. Close the tab.

The week ahead is going to be full on and I’m not feeling prepared for it going either physically or emotionally.

Andy Duguid - Be

From the latest Above and Beyond Group Therapy. This track is as far as I got and now have it on repeat. Extremely simple lyrics…

Be happy Be kind Be generous

Reminds me a lot if Raconte-moi use histoire by M83.

It keeps coming up.

Though, maybe I’m just noticing it more.

Guilty Pleasures and the idea that there is shame in the things we like - when there isn’t.

• Someone talking about the films they feel like they shouldn’t like.
• Me feeling like I should be going out - when I don’t want to.

We have a HomePod but the options for smart homes in China are cheaper - mostly Xiaomi stuff - but I’m struggling to get them to work together is proving tricky.

HomePod Mini’s are available to buy in China!

But delivery would be between the 21st-28th December.

Oh.

Day 3 of 1 mile per day. Except it was 2 miles because that’s how far away from work I live. I’m still doing 2 beers for the walk. 1 per mile. Tomorrow will be harder. We’ll see…

‘revenge bedtime procrastination’ - when “people who don’t have much control over their daytime life refuse to sleep early in order to regain some sense of freedom during late-night hours”

BBC

First time I’ve seen this but I totally get it. Except mine is work+kids.

I see all your fancy pizzas but tonight we did “wrap pizza”. Plain tortilla, bolognese sauce from a packet, sausage and cheese. In the toaster over for ten minutes. It was amazing. And all I was capable of doing.

I read yesterday about how Austin Kleon was writing about there being no finish line and talked about the Big Dog’s Backyard which is a race, of sorts, where you have an hour to 4.1677miles and if you can do that, you do it again and again and again.

the race format where you are always tied for the lead….
until you give up..
the race format where anyone can win.
all they have to do is to never quit.

It’s not surprising it’s from the man who started The Barkley Marathon. One of those things I’d never do but would like to, it’s a little out there. I like that even if I don’t like running but there was a time when a friend and I did 35miles in a day just because and that was different. Maybe because it was outside, the UK has some beautiful countryside.

Which is a round-about way of getting to my point, I read about someone doing The Character Mile where you run a mile a day. I was considering doing something, for me that’s normally burpees, so I’m going ot try and step outside my comfort zone a little.

Since I started reading it at 10pm last night I walked the 3.2km home today and that’ll have to do for the first two days. I also drank 2 beers as I did it, but we’ll see if I stick with that…

Is this month of posts going to reinforce writing? Maybe, maybe not but I’m glad I stuck with it!

#mbnov

A colleague of some student’s parents* left China and tested positive on arrival in their home country. Since they didn’t know where they caught it, on the plane or the airport or at work - they tested a whole lot of people by all accounts. Including a lot of our students. School was closed today as a precaution. We found out just not, in the afternoon, that school would be open again tomorrow and that some students will be quarantined. So yesterday and today were abnormal. We had to prepare online learning for today, sent approximately a thousand messages within our team, made a 5 page PDF in English and Chinese, had a Zoom session with 20 ish students and looked at their work that their parents had posted.

And all I can think about is how I’ve been trying to do too much and feeling powerless to stop myself. I can feel it. That I need to stop and do something that isn’t make me stressed or anxious or stressed and anxious simultaneously. That thing isn’t much - sit and watch some tv, or read or write but it would be to just do that thing. Which is where I struggle. The last few weeks haven’t been great, to be sure I’ve done some nice things but maybe I haven’t noticed. I’ve been, I am, trying to do everything I can at work and for my family and it’s been wearing me down.

It’s funny because it started when I realised that I was trying to do work and family and trying to socialise and that I needed to stop. I felt better for making that decision but now feel worse as a result. It was the right decision, is the right decision but it’s just turned out that it has seemed to be making things worse and not better. I feel like those parents on TV who are dramatically tired. I’ve never felt like that before, I do know. And maybe it’s just that work is a bit much and I haven’t been feeling a 100% either and exercise has fallen away. Who knows.

In any case, I’ve been wanted to put something down but well, I’ve been too busy. To be sure, my day is draining, I’m surrounded by small children from 6:30am until Yumo decides he wants to sleep between 8pm and 10pm. That’s hard. Being patient all day, or trying to be. Beating myself up when I’m not. The thing is, I’m not sure what i’d do differently…

So, yes. This post happened because I was finally not in my normal routine and I caught myself becoming aware that I do need to stop sometimes and that being on all day is apparently not a great thing for your physical and emotional health. Who knew?!

*those apostrophes, where JH when you need her?

It’s important to take photos when you go somewhere.

I love him so much. He’s such hard work at the moment.

This weekend has been anything but pedestrian.

Same as all weekends then…

#mbnov

Just heard my first Xmas song! Paul McCartney - Wonderful Christmastime

You just took in hiding,
from yourself always slip-sliding,
everyday a mask your wearing,
trying to show your surviving,

Wookie - Battle UK Garage!
#mbnov

The dilemma this week: Struggling to find time for myself after family and work and it starting to feel a little too much.

#mbnov

Lyra made Tiramisu and it is amazing.

Having kids you have to constantly adjust.
Now they’re mobile!
Now they’re talking!
Now they have opinions!
Now they’re picky about what they eat!
Now they go to school!
Now they love Peppa Pig!
Now they don’t!
And so and so on!

“This is a call” is a track from the Foo Fighters first album that I have a really strong memory of. Someone at school introduced it to me. 25 years this year!

This video about the hip-hop artist NF called The Power of Vulnerability stopped me and is going to stay with me a while. The talk about vulnerability and how it scares us has hit me, especially this week when, honestly, I’m not feeling great and reticent about talking about it.

Youngest managed to snap this of me reading with Elise. He apparently knows how to access the camera from the Lock Screen.

Am enjoying the BBC’s His Dark Materials. I’ve been meaning to go back to the books again and maybe will soon.

I’m grateful some of the teachers I work with always have provisions. Sometimes a snack is just what I need!

#mbnov

Been in the restaurant twenty minutes and none of the staff have said a word to me. It’s been lovely.

Ordered and will pay by scanning a QR code at the table using WeChat.

I remember when you bought the 36 exposure films. So many things to capture!

#mbnov

In the interests of science and because I’ll try anything once* I bought one of these on the way home. Well, its lot very cheesy. More like a cold vanilla latte. I was hoping for more out there and it’s pretty bland honestly.

*Pig brain, goose intestine, cow stomach, stinky tofu, durian, duck blood, chicken hearts to name a few.

Borders are a big part of our life and will continue to be. We had to make a choice for the kids which passport to get them, the same as me or their Mum. Both wasn’t and isn’t possible. That choice will continue to affect their lives for a long time to come.

#mbnov

What does everyone want for Xmas? Do you make a list with your significant other and buy each other things?

I normally buy the things I want and don’t like getting things for the sake of it so my wife always says I’m hard to buy for.

Inspired by this article little sister and I have been exchanging haikus this week. In a, let’s just see how goes, method of starting something.

Theirs are very plant orientated and ours have been very children and feeling orientated. Has it helped me? Maybe. I don’t know. I’m still no better at writing them and, as you can see in the pictures I find it easier to underline and am happy to send them not written in neat. But it has been nice to do. I like the byline from that article…

“I get a glimmer as to what she’s feeling right then, and it also gives me a way to share how I’m feeling with her.”

Here are a few…

Winter is Christmas and makes me miss Christmases ‘back home*. The build up, the food, the excitement, the presents. Living in a country where it’s not such a big thing. It’s not a national holiday here. It’s just not the same now.

#mbnov

Sometimes it feels like the thing I/you need to do to feel better is to be alone and do things alone. And today that was what I thought.

Except we had another family over and talked and had a disco and watched a film and played Monkey Bingo.

And it was just what I needed.

How to tidy your home.

1. Invite people around.
2. Say to yourself, I’ll just say - “sorry about the mess!”
3. Ignore that and tidy manically an hour before they arrive.
4. Success!

As I write that, I am grateful that we can actually do that here.

Caution!

”Untitled”

Digital composition.

Yumo 23/11/20

This week has been too much, so I’m just catching up with the Daily Dad emails. It says a lot that I actually read every single one of them.

You can talk all you want about what being a man is, about how much it means to you to be a father. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re acting that way. In each and everything you do.

You can toughen yourself up for war, you can coolly bet millions of dollars at work, but there’s nothing you can do about the gaping soft spot your kids have access to. Nothing can get you quite like they do… because nothing matters to you quite like they do. This is the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Know it. Accept it.

https://dailydad.com/

Things fade,
Eventually
Hurt us, a little less.

I spilt wine on someone,
When I worked in the pub, over the road,
I was 16.

It would keep me up at night,
Years later
For reasons I was never clear of.

Now, it’s ok,
Plenty of stuff from my 20s
To keep me up.

#mbnov

I should have loved biology but I found it to be a lifeless recitation of names: the Golgi apparatus and the Krebs cycle; mitosis, meiosis; DNA, RNA, mRNA, tRNA.

In the textbooks, astonishing facts were presented without astonishment.

I’m too tired to read it all but plan to go back to it.

I did love biology in secondary (high) school and it was exactly because the teacher focused so much on the amazing stuff biology was doing. He was forever showing us newspaper clippings or talking about something that had been discovered. That sometimes the lesson was spent doing that and was all the better for it.

I should have loved biology

Today’s entry in things I saw in the little convenience shop over the road… It’s not even in the fridge!

“We Are The Champions” on Netflix says -

’Explore an array of unique competitions, from the quirky to the bizarre, and meet their passionate communities’

The first episode is of my hometown where they, (we?) chase a big cheese down a really steep hill.

Trailer

Finally put some money towards @kottke after running out of excuses for doing so. Consistently interesting stuff that I’ve consistently been reading for I don’t even remember how long.

I worked late at school and Lyra thought she had an English lesson so we got to have dinner together while the grandparents watched the kids. When we came back I always ask Elise to say thank you to them and they always laugh.

I know why because of the time we flew to Beijing, so internally within China, and we couldn’t check in because the kid’s didn’t/don’t have visas in their British passports so - long-story-short* - Lyra’s parents had to go from their home to our flat, a 30minute trip, at 10pm on Friday night to get a document and then to take a photo of it and send it to us so that we could check in. Lyra said thank you for doing all that, and her dad laughed and said, it’s family, you don’t need to say thank you, of course we’d do it.

Though, it goes back to when Lyra and I were first going out and her very closest friends laughed at me for saying thank you when we went to visit them because, to their mind, I didn’t need to say it.

But I’m British and conditioned to say thank you at all times so it’s strange to deal with this. I ain’t changing though but it’ll be interesting to see where the kids fall!

*Their Mum is Chinese, so they are Chinese. Putting a visa in their British passport would be equivalent to admitting they aren’t Chinese - which they are. We have to get special documents every time we leave China.

Dinner of spam, quail eggs, many types of tofu and vegetables cooked in a beef broth.

It’s possible our youngest will go down without getting up repeatedly but it’s also possible I could win the lottery.

#mbnov

Possible is too often overshadowed by its siblings. The elder, ruder, sibling impossible and its cute younger sibling can.

#mbnov

“Deep listening is an act of surrender. We risk being changed by what we hear.”

Full quote

It’s getting late. My dependence on working late is not sustainable!

#mbnov

He went to work every day before Hannah went to school, and in the evening he worked at home. When Hannah asked him a question, he would say, “Not now. I’m busy. Maybe tomorrow.”

Love Anthony Browne’s books. This one is called Gorilla and has me thinking about work and family.

I’ve been on a bullet train in Japan and regularly get the fast trains here in China but while they’re speedy and efficient, I do miss the British trains and the views out the windows.

#mbnov

It feels weird to be overwhelmed but it not be COVID related. And I know it’s ok to be so.

I think maybe it’s strange because all the media I read is predominantly British and American and their daily situation is just so different to mine.

3 rounds 50 sit ups 1 minute at the top of the press up.

Total time: Not sure. About 3 songs from Taylor Swift - Folklore

I can never tell what my first memory is. Whether it is my memory or something I’ve put together from photos and hearing people talk about that time.

Now, I think about all the memories I am creating for myself with the kids that they probably won’t remember.

#mbnov

I just noticed Apple Arcade on my MacBook App Store. So I ‘think’ I could do that and I kinda like the idea. Does anyone do that?

“I really don’t mind coming into the office to work.”

Yes.

Sometimes after the weekend, it’s nice to go to back to my stressful job and relax a bit.

https://www.newyorker.com/cartoons/daily-cartoon/wednesday-march-11th-remote-work

Basically my home is as automated as it’s going to get. We can do a disco and that’s it. What more do you need?

Who says romance is dead?! Airdropping messages while out with the kids and hearts on Saturday morning ‘McMuffins’!

I like this ‘Nobody is normal’ video for Childline that I saw on @Kottke. He says, ‘I was comparing my insides to my classmates’ outsides’ - which is what we do right?

It’s making me think about the post yesterday on ‘guilty pleasures’ and being willing to like what you like.

Reading this discussion on Metafilter about people’s experiences of working from home and their work-life balance and thinking about how it relates to me.

I’m normally at work from around 7:15 to 4:30 at the earliest and often stay after 5. That still doesn’t feel like enough time to do everything I feel I need to. This weekend, I’m trying to relax and also find time around the kids to write reports and do work for Monday. Which is obviously very stressful. I wish that I had a job where I left work at work.

Being smart often has little to do with being persuasive.

Reading this has me thinking of people I’ve worked with who know stuff but don’t lead well and it’s at once great because of the benefit of the things they know and frustrating because of how they share it.

I had Pepsi today. First time in a while because I’ve finally not drinking full-fat soft drinks so much. Though, when I do it’s normally Coke and not Pepsi. And today the first sip was enough to evoke some pretty strong memories.

Memories of Pepsi in glass bottles, at grandma’s house.
A brief 2 hour drive and short 11 hour flight away.
Of the road outside - St Francois Xavier, with the cigarette factory - cinq cinq cinq - around the corner with it’s particular smell, the football pitch opposite, the shop with unusual sweets and the two large rocks for seats where family sat and talked and watched the world go by.
The creaky front gate and the alley leading to the house, as well as Dad’s Uncle’s and Aunt’s houses.
The kitchen that we always ate from but rarely went in.
The living room with the day bed where people would sit and talk and where I remember grandma being.
And the space beyond it where we slept when we did stay there and sometimes ate.
The mashed potato dish that they made and that I always used to love.
The fact it was dark and that the bed we slept on was so high.
I have such sharp, clear memories of it.
And they all came back today because we always drank Pepsi and never Coke.

I don’t do spooky films. I don’t enjoy them. It means I can’t sleep. #mbnov

Lovely afternoon in the park.

Foo Fighters - Times Likes These on Saturday Night Live.

It’s times like these you learn to live again
….
It’s times like these you learn to love again

Elise’s Dinosaur workout
🦖10 dinosaur raaaaas (lunge and go raaaa)
🦕10 brontosaurus reaches (jump and grab leaves)
10 velociraptor runs (high knees)

Loving this Tinlicker One Mix on Apple Music. I’ve got stuck listening to the second track* though. Thankfully, the track was added to Apple Music this week. Wasn’t surprised to hear they are Dutch.

*Tinlicker & Helsloot - Tell Me

I love Austin Kleon

We all love things that other people think are garbage. You have to have the courage to keep loving your garbage, because what makes us unique is the diversity and breadth of our influences, the unique ways in which we mix up the parts of culture others have deemed “high” and the “low.”

Don’t guess.

So much of my anxiety comes from this.

#mbnov

It’s been an overwhelming week in some ways between work and family. Wasn’t feeling great this morning but it has abated somewhat this afternoon.

An evening of McDonald’s and going to the cinema to watch Paw Patrol awaits!

As usual, taking something from the Daily Dad

We don’t raise tough kids by inflicting pain on them. We raise tough kids by teaching them—lovingly, patiently, understandingly—how to grow past their limits. Still, we respect those limits. We realize that each of us has different strengths, different weaknesses, and in appreciating that, we can find ways to develop them into their own unique and special self.

We create challenges for them, but we are not the challenge. No, we are their ally. We are on their team. We love them. We’re working with and for, not against them.

The places I eat.

Tonight was on the pavement next to a 4 lane road. The garlic mushrooms were excellent!

Would i wear the same thing everyday if I could? I sometimes think I would and in fact I kind of do. I always wear the same couple of pairs of jeans and T-shirts. #mbnov

Often, I feel like I have something to say but not the time to properly form it between family and work. #mbnov

Saw these in the school library today!

Being social, even online, is something I wish I was better at but have accepted as something I find difficult as I’ve got older.

With that said, getting replies from people on micro.blog is my favourite thing about using it. It’s just nice. #ifthisisntnice

Elderly. Grandparents are elderly but never your parents, I mean, until they are. #mbnov

After yesterday’s I’ll advised kettlebell workout, today’s workout was just about moving a little. Good for the body and the mind.

Some photos from the weekend. It’s a little section of a bigger tourist attraction done up in an old-ish style. We just happened across it but it was fun. They had beer!

Omar’s Law states that a probability that a child will offer the correct leg/arm/hand/foot to that being offered to put on trousers/t-shirt/glove/sock is 0.

🦖🥰😂🦄🙃🌮🙁🎄

elise

I think my issue with the challenges is I don’t like to force it. I want it to be perfect and so I often just give up because it isn’t. And now I’ve completed the challenge again, by accident. #mbnov

My experiences are
You can’t force people to change
They have to do it for themselves

I say this as someone who,
at a point,
Found myself realising,

All the things I’d done to help myself,
Had been what everyone had always said,
You can take a horse to water!

#mbnov

I’m thinking about what binds us and how those things are not the same everyone we know.

A common interest. Work. A time. An event?

How some bonds seem solid, others only temporary and others that sometimes vary.

#mbnov

Beau Miles has a new video where he drinks wine found by the road and answers questions.

I enjoy his videos a lot, I like how he thinks, the videos are easy to watch. He did one where he runs a mile an hour for 24 hours and one where he eats only beans for 40 days. Recommended.

Hot pot!

23:06 Leaving it late. I am inflated by spending time with my wife and friends this evening.

Night and day.

Lyra and I are going away for the night while the grandparents try and keep up with the kids - which I’m trying to not worry about. Elise cried as we left and I just wanted to stay, even as I know it’s good for everyone to have a break.

One of the biggest sacrifices I make as a parent is eating things so my children don’t.

Cake, ice cream, chocolate, I eat it all so they don’t.

I don’t want to but I do because I love them.

This article in the Guardian of critics admitting to getting things wrong has me thinking of what things I’ve changed my opinion of.

Tried to do a workout. First Elise joined in for the jumping jacks and burpees. Then she got bored. A little while later, Yumo joined in in his own way and sat on my back for press ups. Workout was totally ruined… It was awesome!

Picking up the kids from school is such an amazing feeling, every single time.

For the first ten seconds anyway but I’ll take it.

I am always puzzled
By my feelings for Friday
The week is over! Again
The weekend is here! Again

I feel next week’s wave
Pull at my feet
Some gentle lapping
Or maybe a tsunami?

#mbnov

(I’m posting it now but it’s a work in progress, written in a break at work)

I know The World Waits™️ and the UK is now on lockdown again but…

Both our children slept through the night. Not a peep out of either of them. This is the first time that this has happened.

If this isn’t nice!

Stoop. Droop. Loop. Coop. Soup.

#mbnov ✏️

Christmas - it either feels too early or too late, never just right.

and the word is near
but all I can think
is the opposite
of how the distances
between us, currently
seem so great

#mbnov ✏️

Phew!

Work is just… it’s not that it’s difficult, no, that’s not right as it is, it’s the volume of a thousand little things we’re expected to juggle.

I’ve said it before, the problem with teaching is fitting in all the paperwork, emails and meeting around the students.

As a, relatively, recent father and a teacher of, relatively, small children, kids always astonish me.

It’s the best.

#mbnov ✏️

I skip breakfast a lot but since I’m trying to exercise more regularly l feel like I need something. Plus, I don’t want to make many thing in the morning.

So, today I had my first bacon, egg and cheese “McMuffin” that I made yesterday and reheated this morning and it was good!

Something I miss about the UK is pork pies.

Something else I miss is fruit concentrate aka cordial aka squash. You mix it with water and then the water tastes nice. Here I’m forced to drink plain water. Where’s some Robinson’s orange and pineapple?!

✏️#mbnov

Cuddles are the best. I’ve rolled my eyes in the past when mum has said it to me, but some things you have to learn for yourself.

One great thing about having kids is that they force you into an active practice of love whether you are ready for it or not.

From a letter to my son.

What hit me was concern that his son would be like him, not open, not willing to be loved. I worry about this stuff too.

I enjoyed The Mandolorian - Justified crossover episode a whole lot.

I’m from the UK and so I’m used to the weather not being the best.

That said, the weather in Chongqing at the moment is dreary. It’s gloomy, dark and it’s constantly raining.

Can we get some sun?

✏️ #mbnov

Also date night.

Date night is serious business.

My heart is moved by all I cannot save:
so much has been destroyed

I have to cast my lot with those. who age after age, perversely,

with no extraordinary power,
reconstitute the world.

—Adrienne Rich

From Laura Olin’s newsletter

I’ve been trying hard to be more present this morning. And the effort has been worth it. I’ve felt well, happier, less stressed. I’ve done the washing, made sandwiches for breakfast, watched two 15minute videos, one on foreign correspondents opinions on the upcoming election and one on finding pumpkins in the park presented by someone called Blippi, used my phone less/a little more consciously we’ve been to soft play and then had dumplings with friends.

It’s been nice, the kids for the most part have been amazing.

It is hard work though. I have the creeping anxiety that I should be doing MORE and that if I don’t bad things will happen.

Saturday morning train tracks with Elise

Is anyone considering Apple One? I already have a family music subscription and pay extra for 200gb. So a little extra for Arcade and Apple TV+ seems a good choice.

Kottke just linked to this post titled An Easy Way To Practise Gratitude which is about a game where you simply name 5 nice things in your life. The rules are ‘don’t overthink it, and be specific.’

It ties in nicely for me with something I do about noticing nice things in my life, which I got from this Kurt Vonnegut quote

Anyway, here are mine…

1. The security guard at school said good morning in English to me yesterday. Normally they would greet us in Chinese but he’s obviously been practising. Even though I had my headphones in it made me smile. Going against my normal programming I shared it in a school chat group and it turns out other people had noticed too. It made me feel a little more connected with people at school/work and I’m glad I shared it.

2. A teacher’s friend is doing takeaway food from his flat. Yesterday he did bbq chicken with chips, peas and coldslaw and it was amazing. We ate it with a few friends and I had a couple of drinks and didn’t even get too annoyed with the kids!

3. It’s the weekend and Lyra and I are going on a date tonight while the grandparents babysit. Curry and cocktails. I think I might get my hair cut today aswell. “My hair is long because I haven’t had the time to have it cut.”

4. It’s the morning, Lyra and Yumo are asleep. I’m having coffee and Elise is getting some screentime. No one is crying or angry and it’s a very pleasant start to Saturday morning.

5. The Apple photo widget has such a noticeable, positive impact on my life. Opening my phone to old photos of my wife, kids and family is just THE BEST.

The kids were allowed to dress up today and it was the first time I’ve seen a Black Panther, which was cool.

Every morning the security guards take our temperature and say good morning in Chinese. Today though they’ve said it ok English. Which has put a smile on my face!

Stayed up late reading, which I haven’t done in a while. Another YA book out of there school library as I find they scratch the reading itch without being too much when I’m busy. This time Legend by Marie Lu.

Feeling tired this morning though.

Today in Chinese crisp flavours: creme brûlée and milk tea!

Exercise today was row 5k. Which I do because I know it’s good for me, even if I’m not a huge fan. Either of cardio or rowing.

Youngest didn’t wake until 5am so Lyra and I got the bed to ourself all night. Then the eldest and I moved to the spare room at 5:30. Was led with her in the dark, listening to the rain and it was lovely.

#ifthisisn’tnice

Made lasagne for tomorrow. Did some exercise. Was productive. Felt good.

Shoutout to the Wayback Machine for saving the lasagne recipe I like to use after it disappeared

Yumo moved out of our room and into his sister’s. The first night we gave it up but they both eventually slept and then slept through most of the night.

It meant I was able to lie in bed and read a book before going to sleep!

IKEA

This letter to an ‘agony aunt’ from someone who has lived in their partner’s home country for a long time and now misses the country they are from is something I think about a lot. Where is my home? I don’t know that I could easily answer that question.

The originally makes sense apparently but the English trans unit so much.

Is there a way to block websites in Safari on my iPhone? I’ve deleted apps but can’t be trusted not to open the website. Eventually I know I’ll just download the apps again because why not.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence my anxiety kicked in after I felt good about myself for doing something. Come on brain, teamwork!

I’ve managed to remove a notification I’ve had for months and never been able to. So I’m feeling pretty good.

Today, try to hold some of the dark and some of the light side by side. Don’t turn away from either one. That’s the muscle I’m building in these horrible, beautiful times.

Courtney Martin

Youngest did not sleep well and was slow getting back to sleep. So now I’m off to work and feeling a little* tired.

*A lot, a lot tired.

I find I come home from work and spend time with the kids and eventually get them to bed and then I have time. The thing I want most in the whole world, beyond a home gym and a British supermarket.

Yet, I inevitably waste it with idle browsing, being annoyed or stressed or anxious, some of this and some of that. Then suddenly it’s late and I really should be in bed and I’m feeling no better for the time.

So new plan is to have a plan in the evening. Monday was go to the gym, which was awesome and then. Yesterday Lyra and I started watching Monsters and Love - which is fine if the voiceovers are a bit much.

I think I just need to be specific. Using the time to go through my RSS feeds or even catching up on some YouTube videos is fine. There just needs to be purpose.

stand up for what is right
prioritize your mental health
being flexible brings success
your voice makes a diffeerence
do not hide from your emotions
hard moments do not last forever
healing yourself makes life better
pursue your goals no matter what
embracing change eases your mind

young pueblo

via

My favourite thing about iOS 14 is definitely the photo widget. A constant stream of photos of the kids when they were little-er is just THE EFFIN’ BEST. Today it brought me to a 1 Second Everyday I did of Elise when Yumo was born and it was so so so lovely to see.

I think there’s something wrong. with my. spacebar as it keeps adding i n adding in spaces and. additional full stops. (periods). Urgh.

In other related news about my kids. Things they’ve been competitive about recently…

1. Going to the toilet on their own
2. Eating a healthy dinner

So awful! 🤣

This evening Matthew I’m going to be the father from the Lego Movie…

“Stoooppp messing with my stuffff!”🎵

Another rollercoaster weekend is over… We’ve talked about watching Monsters and Love but we’ll see. My money is on no.

Losing my patience with my children is the worst and yet still, it happens.

This week has been difficult because when Lyra and I lose our patience with the kids it affects our relationship as well. Particularly, talking about it between us. We both now we made a mistake but discussing it without it feeling like we’re criticising each other is really hard.

With that said. We’ve talked about stepping in when the other person is on the edge and realising when you are and asking the other person to step in in the future. We’ll see how it goes.

My additional bonus difficulty is that the reasons I lose my patience are basically the same when I’m at work (as a teacher of small children). Trying to maintain calm and reasonable-ness from 7:45am until 8-9pm is difficult. And yes I should be kinds to myself about this but I’m only human, so I’m not.

Listening to Jocelyn K. Glei’s podcast Hurry Slowly and this week it’s titled The Angst of Working from home (WFH). As a teacher, I’m much happier working from school just because of my job needs.

Today I’m grateful that kids here can have parties again. Reminded recently that Elise’s 3rd birthday was entirely at home.

I think that I’ve put the old iPad one of the kid’s uses in a safe place. Thing is, it’s such a safe place I can’t find it.

Roads

After reading Austin Kleon’s post We love because we care I asked Lyra to help me buy the book.

Alison Gopnik advocates for the abandoning of the word “parenting” as a verb, and encourages readers to think of being a parent as a relationship that runs on love, instead of a job that runs on work. “Love doesn’t have goals or benchmarks of blueprints,” she writes, “but it does have a purpose.” The purpose of loving children is to care for them as a gardener would tend to plants, creating the conditions under which they will thrive.

This caring, she says, changes us, and deepens our love. “We don’t care for children because we love them,” she writes, “we love them because we care for them.”

Drinking, silly talk with colleagues was just what I needed after this week. Physically I’m ok but emotionally haven’t been feeling with it.

Wednesday October 14th, 6:34pm, Chongqing, China

The youngest loves the marble run set we have and the eldest was enjoying spending time with a visiting friend.

#adayinthelife

Roast duckkkk

Still, somehow thought it was Tuesday but apparently it’s already Wednesday.

Time seems to be a runaway train at the moment. I blink and another week is nearly gone!

I rewatched my quarantine 1 Second Everyday just now. I did it from January 24th which was Day 1 for us, I even made this picture. 262 days ago. Quarantining with the kids. E-learning. It feels like forever.

Here in China, things have moved on and are pretty normal. While talking to friends in the UK feels like a whole other world that I can’t, quite comprehend. It’s a strange thing indeed.

So I’m at least 90% sure I’ve got all day Wednesday to take my photo for the challenge. For me it runs 1am on Wednesday until 1am Thursday. I think.

Does what it says on the tin.

Elise reading.

This error. @help

• Time alone with coffee, a notebook and a book
• Lunch with Lyra
• Afternoon beers with friends
• 1 minute late to pick up the kids, I didn’t have a mask so couldn’t go in but met them just outside the school

If this isn’t nice!

Lunch with Lyra.

Pretty satifisfied with how The Boys finished Season 2, how things were wrapped up and how they’ve set the stage for Season 3. I’m assuming there’s a Season 3. 📺

Yesterday I was grateful for a less stressful bedtime.

Thing is, the kids were just as troublesome I just didn’t let it get to me.

Noodles and then a drink and chat with a friend while the grandparents are watching the kids was just what I needed this evening.

I’ve just addded “If this isn’t nice” as a category but I realise it’s a gratefulness journal by another name isn’t it?

My new mantra is, ‘one thing at a time.’

Which in theory is quite simple and in practice is a very real struggle to not look at my phone or not focus on whatever I want to just focus on.

I do feel better for it but we’ll see how it goes…

After yesterdays watching of Vampires vs. the block, Lyra and I watched Attack the Block today. Yeah, maybe it’s the British-ness of it but much preferred Attack the Block. Am now on the hunt for similar British films… 🎬

Cuddling your kids is great but when they cuddle you as toddlers it’s so much better.

They’ve just got a bit more weight to them!

If this isn’t nice I don’t know what it is

New me continues. Am I peaking too early?

Broke out the kettlebell and did this:

Perform 5 circuits of the following:

5 Dumbbell Snatches Per Arm
5 Dumbbell Swings Per Arm
10 Burpees
Rest 60 seconds and repeat

11:14.

The burpees slowed me right down. I should do more of them I suppose.

It occurred to me that I am, finally, becoming more pragmatic about doing exercise. Not by choice you understand. I would dearly love a gym outfitted in a way that China doesn’t do - by which I mean like a Crossfit gym - but it’s not going to happen. Maybe one day.

The one at school is actually pretty close but I can only use it straight after work and that doesn’t work. My family will come first. Always. Even if it gratesd, and it did. It still does a little. The pragmatism is there now, I’m happier about finding something that works for me, and that being ok.

That said, the big issue is not eating so much rubbish. That’s the real struggle!

Also, the plan to turn my life around is going pretty well. I haven’t lost my patience with either of my darling children and I didn’t check my phone until 2pm. I did use it to pay for something and for music in the car but that’s it.

I’ve started to reread the last but one book in the Rivers of London series by Ben Aaronovitch. In preparation for reading the latest one, which apparently came out in February and makes me wonder what I was up to during the quarantine.

Cultured.

Vampires vs. The Bronx on Netflix was fun. Not too heavy to watch In the afternoon while the kids napped.

Felt very much like Attack the Block. 🎬

Soft play is THE BEST!!!11

About unicorns obviously.

Finally got around to finishing my rereading of Dune, inspired by the trailer for the upcoming film. It’s such a big, long book but it’s so easy to get swept along by it all. Still not sure how I feel about the film. We will see…

Plus Yumo says some stuff.

Places

People.

Lovely 24 hours away with Lyra for our 6th Wedding anniversary on Thursday.

We had a nice Airbnb, some cocktails, took a couple of lovely walks around the city, had some coffee and took a lot of photos. Also, I finally watched Inception.

Oh my goodness. The penultimate episode of The Boys was just so very good. Very excited for the final episode.

This whole idea of releasing one episode a week, I think it might catch on… 📺

Vaffamix - Ethno Love (Vaffa Superstar Remix) I could listen to this forever.

Press all the buttons!

Getting this error using Sunlit. Is that just me?

Today’s exercise!

Lunch included pig ears and century eggs. Neither of which I’m a massive fan of. Eggs should be yellow and white not black and amber.

And they have a horn

Just finished Russian Doll on Netflix. Highly enjoyable. LOVED the lead. Will definitely be watching it again. Also, reminded me how much I like watching things knowing nothing about them. No trailers, no no-spoiler reviews. 📺

“Classic trance with a 2020 twist.”

This is right up my street.

Still love the trance I would listen to in my late teens/early 20s.

music.apple.com

Another day!

Saw Tenet again. Wasn’t as overwhelming but still can’t comprehend what was going on really. Will be reading up later.

It was “4d” so the seat pitched forward and backward, vibrated, had puffs of air and occasionally poked you. Not a fan.

Only people in the cinema too. 🎬

“If this isn’t nice I don’t know what is.”

Trying to get back into some good habits. Definitely taking it a little easier today.

How do you share photos/updates with family? I don’t really want to use FB or Instagram. We have a family WhatsApp group but I don’t feel it’s idea.

Daring Fireball: ‎Widgetsmith and The Case of the Missing App Store Bunco Squad

If Apple ran a food court like they run the App Store they’d let a McDowell’s open up two stores down from McDonald’s.

More words

National Holiday in China so we have a week off.

Leaving the country is impossible as everyone entering China has to quarantine for two weeks. However we’re still being advised not to leave our province on the off chance that where we go stops being low risk. Which would then mean more quarantine when coming back.

It’s not a big thing for this holiday but looking towards Christmas everyone is hopeful of getting away, even to somewhere in China. We will see.

Anyway, going to try and relax…

So there’s an American remake of ‘cult tv thriller’ Utopia starring John Cusack. Hmmm.

“Up for a challenge?? A poem a day- when you would reach for your phone? Reach for your journal and pen instead!!??”

So that’s what I’ve been doing. My sister and I have such contrasting styles, hers are neater, longer, mine are shorter, messier and more like my piles of teenage notebooks.

Made last night and reheated today. Made the late night supermarket run worth it. My best one yet, so delicious.

My favourite iOS 14 feature is having random photos of the kids appearing on my Home Screen. So nice.

Another often-asked question when I speak in public: “Do you have some good advice you might share with us?” Yes, I do. It comes from my savvy mother-in-law, advice she gave me on my wedding day. “In every good marriage,” she counseled, “it helps sometimes to be a little deaf.” I have followed that advice assiduously, and not only at home through 56 years of a marital partnership nonpareil. I have employed it as well in every workplace, including the Supreme Court. When a thoughtless or unkind word is spoken, best tune out. Reacting in anger or annoyance will not advance one’s ability to persuade.

From and seen on Daring Fireball

Yesterday introduced Elise to some tasty music -Buffallo Charge - Dub Phizix and Strategy

Also they loved the video which has rapping buffaloes.

Parent teacher interview always make me nervous but after I’m always grateful for them.

It’s easy to forget students are someone’s children, that someone is thinking about them. And I say that as a parent.

It’s nice to remember that. Definitely changes my mindset.

A girl at Elise’s dance class has a t-shirt that says - “I need a break” and I’m totally feeling that.

The few hours Lyra and I just had were just what I needed. A chance to reset my mindset and for me to start again.

I’ve found it difficult when I’m either with my own children before and after work and other people’s children between 6am and 9pm. Much as love my own children and I do enjoy my teaching other people’s.

It’s one of those things about teaching that, when you’re working, yes you’re in charge but your time is very much not your own. You can’t leave the room to go to the toilet or go speak to someone, you can’t sit and have a think. While we do get some ‘free’ time during the time, it’s incredibly difficult to switch off. When you’re teaching them there’s a million other things to do.

Anyway. I feel very much better for the evening off of parenting and teaching.

Best thing you can do for your children sometimes, is to be away from them!

First time in a cinema since I can’t remember. We saw Tenet. It was amazing. I think, I’m not sure. Absolutely want to watch it again! 🎥

Also, this is the only time I get that I’m free of children and I need to make the most of that.

My tolerance for annoying stuff happening when Lyra and I are out without the kids is basically unlimited since anything is easier without our two darling kids.

Unicorns and My Little Pony are Elise’s current favourites.

Great grandma gave Elise and Yumo some money. We could have got the same toys cheaper online but I feel like this is something they need to do.

Kids remember everything. You think they didn’t but it’s in there somewhere, waiting to come out.

We started writing with our 5 and 6 year old students today. It’s a pretty useful skill I think. That said, it was hard work. I’m just glad we’re in school. I can’t even imagine trying to do some of this stuff online.

Do not like how Apple pins chats in Messages. I don’t like the giant bubbles, why can’t I have everything like it was but with smaller changes like in WhatsApp and Wechat.

Lyra just made cheese on toast for the first time. So proud.

Certified Young Person Paul Rudd Wants You To Wear A Mask

Today was good and that was almost entirely because of me and my attitude. It was good. Good.

In China at least. Kids having Kid versions of Apple Watches to stay in touch with parents is very much a thing. You see them everywhere. It’s a whole market. Will be interesting to see whether Apple can start joining that market.

I would like an iPad. So that my MacBook becomes work only. I just don’t need to do that. I have separate user accounts that work well enough.

“My relationship with the entire world in this moment depends entirely on the relationship I have with myself.“ – Paul Ferrini

swissmiss - My Relationship With The Entire World

See title.

Coffee and a book. Really getting back into Dune.

Spicy spicy spicy and definitely Lyra’s.

In this email talking to a mindfulness teacher was a quote that struck me and now I can’t stop thinking about.

“How many other people need to be doing their jobs well for you to do your job well?”

the examined family

Elise’s choice: Paw Patrol.

How to be more present and alive in the moment

Sometimes I’m aware that I should be doing one thing at a time. I find it hard at work where I feel I have so many things to do. As well at home, will I actually listen to the music as I cook or wash up? Often I don’t.

Only 26c (73f) today. Jeans it is!

In China people typically pay up front. From buying phones outright and then paying-as-you-go, to gyms or lessons for the kids. I’ve always balked at it. So it was with drama lessons we bought for Elise that we’ve just found won’t be starting again. Apparently the money isn’t coming back and we don’t have any interest in the online lessons they’re offering.

I’m hopeful that, in the future, that paying up front won’t happen so much. That people will more hesitant to put down a lot of money. We’ll see…

Was in bed before 9 and then had a restless child between 3-5am and up at 6.

Today’s plan is to just get through today.

Just watched the new Dune trailer and will now pick it up the book from the library at school today. Completely forget it was being made and hopeful it may come out in China…

冰粉bing fen - is one of those foods that i like but would never catch on in the UK. It’s sort of sweet but not all of it and a bit weird in texture.

Reading this about Instagrams changes make me glad I ditched it again. The reason I joined again was to upload photos of the kids privately to a select group, family and close friends.

Would a private page of photos be possible using micro.blog? daringfireball.net

Elise at 6:50am: “Why do cereals need milk?”

It’s too much art for these sort of questions。

Spent the evening sorting the kids toys… Which I’m taking as a sign I was in a good mood! I think Elise took this photo. I always like how they turn out.

Episode 3 of The Boys* - My one word review is: Crikey. Kicked things up a notch I think. 📺

*Though perhaps Billy would prefer: ‘blimey’.

Hi again. A quick chat before Elise went to sleep. Hopefully this is the start of more regular episodes. We’ll see…

China is crazy for milk tea as well as other fruit based drinks.

There’s countless places open everywhere, with the more popular places heaving with people. As a result, you can queue for the drink - obviously you’ll order on your phone - for up to 40minutes! 40minutes!

Anyway, one I like is opening within walking distance of home and delivery distance of home!

I didn’t stop between 7 and 5 but managed to keep it together today. Busy but I didn’t let it get to me. Good job me! 👍

Recent crop of beans and beetroot from our land*.

*That is thousands of miles away and that mum and dad maintain.

Question. What are my options for my over 10,000 Flickr photos? It’s such an amazing snapshot of a stage of my life but I don’t use it. I don’t like the idea of downloading them all and them being on a harddrive but paying money to occasionally look at them seems a waste.

Daily Dad is a daily, duh, email about being a better dad. The tagline is, ‘every dad needs a little help’ and I think that’s how I found it, when searching online for dad related help.

I like it for the brevity of the emails but mostly because it’s advice that I feel like I need. I love my children so much and I worry a lot, so so much, about them and our relationship. About so many things. While also being aware that putting them first always isn’t necessarily the best thing. That is, I need to be happy/sane/calm/patient etc etc at the same time.

The email does help. Gently pushing me in the right direction is maybe I want to best describe it. Thinking about what I do, how I do it, how I can be better with them.

You can listen to it too apparently >podcast link

We tried to lie in but it’s tricky with small children climbing on you.

Just finished episode 1 of season 2 of The Boys. Interested to see how it goes from here. The things that stand out though were:

• The remakes of Billy on the tv with ridiculous swearing were perhaps the best bit.
• Gus Fring
• I could watch Banshee again I think because Anthony Starr is the worst in this.
• The swear count kicked up in the last couple of minutes.
• I now have Billy Joel - Pressure on repeat. It came out the year I was born!

Zen Shorts and it’s follow up Zen Tie, Zen Ghosts and Zen socks by John J. Muth are some of my favourite children’s books. I think I picked it up one day in the school library when my class was visiting. It’s about a panda called Stillwater who meets 3 children and tells each a Zen tale.

I’ve been reading them recently with Elise, I’m not sure how she takes from them but I’m reminded how much I like them.

I think it’s the pictures but it’s also in the way Stillwater speaks. I find the books very calming.

Rereading, I’m also reminded of the benefit of repeated readings even of children’s books.

The aim this week was to get through. Hoping to recharge the batteries a little this weekend… We will see how that goes. Excited to watch the new season of The Boys.

Reading

First impressions of the new Sunlit app are very positive. I like the new look a lot.

What’s a good weekend?
What do I want/need? What do I feel I should do (with the kids)?

Today, we’ve been up since 7 and didn’t stop till 11. We went to a book shop, had a nice lunch, went swimming and had dinner with friends.

It’s been full on. Just being with the kids is a lot. As well, we’re working hard with our eldest on choices and her dealing with things she doesn’t like or want to do.

So, it’s been good in some respects. We’re working on things that are important. I’m spending time with my family.

And yet, I’m aware that work on Monday is looming and needs preparing for and that just makes me anxious.

In a nearby park is a coffee shop that has books you can read. We’re in the habit of going at the weekend, but he kids get cake and Lyra and I have a coffee and we try to read a little.

We’re regulars now. Though, sometimes we spend more time reading then others. Today the kids spent time with the staff, other times they make new friends. They have some English books I can read them but I also take my own book just in case.

I’m aware that I want the kids to read and that the best way to do that is to model it. Even as someone who loves reading, it’s often difficult as a parent.

In Which Teenagers Can’t Make Phone Calls We call them phones but I rarely make calls on mine.

Passion fruit beer and spicy porridge. I know how to treat myself!

When your job involves working with young children (I teach Year 1(kindergarten)) and you have small children of your own at home. So your life involves the associated testing of patience before, during and after work. It’s a little emotionally taxing.

In other news grass is green and water is wet.

This is also me thinking I should be a little kinder on myself.

I’m still thinking about Kenneth Koch’s poem this weekend, “You Want a Social Life, with Friends” where he says of a social life, a work life and a love life you can only have two but not three. His

There isn’t time enough, my friends–
Though dawn begins, yet midnight ends–
To find the time to have love, work, and friends.

And how my 2 have been chosen for me. Love(family) and work if you couldn’t guess. And I’m ok with that for the most part. And that the issues always arise when I try to fit the third in. A night out on Friday has had repercusions that have carried on over the weekend that a part of me is regretful of going out now.

There isn’t time enough, my friends.

Spending an hour in McDonald’s at 1am talking about work with a colleague. I’m loving it!

Am out for dinner with my phone and a face mask. I must have forgotten something.

We call it shaokao because we’re not sure how to translate it to English so just use the Chinese. You take your food out of fridges and then they cook it over large grills. It’s all on sticks in the fridges but it’s chopped up and mixed together when served. I’ve stopped having chilli as, while it’s delicious, I have work tomorrow. It’s silly cheap too. One of those things that us foreigners like as it’s not something you get back home.

Just waiting for my friend to turn up so we can dinner. It’s an odd feeling not being in a rush, not worrying what my darling children are doing, to have some time to do nothing but wait. It doesn’t happen often.

Grandparents are watching the kids. Lyra is out. So have the time to go to the school gym and do some rowing. Good times!

Today’s afterwork exercise…

Ok, I didn’t make it to the gym this evening but I did do some KB swings, squats and press (push) ups on the balcony - which is better than nothing. Only in 31c heat, so not too hot…

Feeling all the better for it too.

In theory it made sense.

I want to exercise more regularly but I’m also aware that when I exercised straight after work it impacted on the kids and my wife. Since I was getting home late. I didn’t like it and always felt guilty for working out so it never felt like ‘quality time’ and, honestly, it wasn’t enjoyable as a result.

Over the summer, we joined a gym and while the equipment selection was dire it was better than nothing.

So the idea was that I could go to the gym after the kids went to bed in the evening. I could come home straight from work and spend more time with them and help with cooking dinner etc.

In theory it made sense.

Except, unsuprisingly, after being at work all day and then coming home and dealing with that stuff, picking myself up to go to the gym and work out is proving tricky/difficult/impossible.

I did it once last week.

And today is the same.

I like the time I get with the kids but I also would like to exercise - for my emotional and physical health. I don’t know, I don’t have answers honestly. Just lots of questions. Should I put myself first more often? What about my wife? Or is always that my children come first?

Do. Not. Know.

6:00 - Snooze 6:09 - Get up 6:30 Coffee and some scrolling 7:00 Didi (Uber) to work 7:30 First day back at school!

This story of a British lawyer being refused a visa he didn’t apply for always gets me as I imagine us in that situation, trying to navigate the UK Home Office to get Lyra a visa. It’s not a simple process.

Rereading and enjoying Ted Chiang’s - Stories of your life and others, a collection of short stories that includeds the story that the film Arrival was based on. Now, want to watch the fim again.

My top parenting tip for today is: if you choose to hide under the covers on a bed, cover your soft areas.

This tip is brought to you by experience.

Reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar with Elise asked, “Yes, but why do caterpillars become butterflies?” Apparently, “because they just do,” wasn’t a satisfactory answer but I’ve promised to look up the answer.

Have been trying to use the instant camera we have more. Partly because we’ve got lots of instants we need to use but mostly because it’s nice to hold actual photos. I have such fond memories of going through actual prints when I was younger.

Youngest has been awake since 5. Sent Lyra to the spare room at 6ish. Elise woke at 6:30. It’s now 8 and we’ve played with Playdoh, dinosaurs and read books. The kids are now on toast and I’m on my 2nd coffee. Happy weekend! 😬

A strange truth about communicating is that we don’t get to choose whether we do it or not. In the presence of others, we are always sending messages, as helplessly as a star emits light.

The Force Field

via > Drawing Links

A friend came around this evening so Elise could give her her birthday present.

Elise and Yumo were very excited to see her and help her unwrap her present. Elise didn’t stop talking.

I felt like I saw Elise through different eyes today. It’s the wood from the trees isn’t it?

I agree with the sentiment I read on Kottke.org about Your School District’s Reopening Survey about it being a little too close to the truth to be funny.

The classroom is nearly as set up as it’s going to be. We have new students coming in tomorrow for a short while to meet us. Then we start in earnest on Monday. Most of our students will be in school, with a few not because they’re unable to get into the country.

It feels like this will be the last pause before everything becomes chaotic next week. Trying to take a moment to breathe before that all starts.

How China Controlled the Coronavirus - The New Yorker

A teacher in China recounting his experience. I haven’t had the time to read it properly yet.

He has a lot more exposure to people’s views then I do, or at least his students are just a lot older than mine. Mine are only 5.

All I can think about when reading this article about paying by the hour is… When I’m getting my hair cut, I don’t want it to be too quick - I want to get my money’s worth - but also I don’t want it to last too long - I’ll pay more for it not too! seths.blog

I’ve been making an effort recently with things…

• Not using the phone around the kids
• Less screen time all around in fact
• Trying to be more patient with the children
• Going to bed earlier
• Not letting much writing in my work journal get scribbly
• Trying to do 1 thing at a time - e.g. if I’m watching Netflix, I’m not opening a new tab, or playing on my phone. Or even, just eating!
• being consistent in exercising but compromises have to be made.

It’s just really hard.

Enjoyed reading @MDonaldson writing about Spotify. Makes me want to make more effort to support the bands I do like on streaming platforms.

https://8sided.blog/surviving-spotifys-future-landscape/